Aanhin mo pa nga naman ang damo kung siya ang KABAYO?! WHEW! LOL.
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Monday, May 24, 2010
May Bakla sa Pulis?
Aanhin mo pa nga naman ang damo kung siya ang KABAYO?! WHEW! LOL.
Diyosa ng Kagandahan!
May asim pa daw siya kahit sa edad niya. MY GULLY! Hahaha. Tignan mo naman ang bulaklak sa tenga niya. KATAKOT! Pero take note pantay ang blush on niya. Parang binugbog ng sampong bakal boys sa kanto. ROAR! May hawak pala siyang wand. Hehe. Oh I mean flower. Hahaha. Flower girl? Hehehe. :) Katawa talaga to. OVER!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Pinoy Knock Knock Jokes
►Cashew Nut.
Don’t tell me you’re sorry Cashew Nut. ~ ( Take A Bow )
►Ginabing Kokey.
Just dance, ginabing kokey. Dadoodoom. ( Just Dance )
►Come back to me.
Come back to me bok ang puso.
Wala ka ng magagawa kundi sundin ito. ( Kapag Tumibok ang Puso )
►Kangkong, Kangkong, Greenwich, Tomato.
New York..kangkong, kangkong, greenwich, tomato.
Now you’re in New York! New York! ( Empire State of Mind )
►Sinigang.
Sinigaaang! Sandal ka lang. At wag mong pipigilan.~ ( Sandalan )
►Solusyon.
Solusyon, sa Visayas, at sa Mindanao! ( Wowowee )
►Civil War.
Civil war ang tunay na mahirap.
Civil war ang tunay na may malasakit. ( Manny Villar Political Jingle )
►Inday.
Indaaaaaay will always love you. ( I will always Love You )
►Phone na Nokia.
Phone na Nokia, di sinasadya.
Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko. ( Paano na Kaya )
►Kamuning.
Kamuning get me, get me, get me.
Baby i’m yours. Kaamuning get me. ( Get Me )
►Russian Patay.
Wise men say, only fools Russian,
patay can’t help, fallin in love with you. ( Cant help Fallin in Love )
►Terminal.
Terminal..
every now and then i get a little bit lonely.. ( Total Eclipse of the Heart )
►Alfred.
Alfred my wings and i learned how to fly.. ( Breakaway )
►Bumili ng bagong folding bed.
Bumili ng bagong folding bed, Mad at You! ( Mad )
►Pikachu.
No, I don’t wanna go to bed (pikachu). ( Mad )
►River boat.
River boat young when I first saw you. I close my eyes. ( Love Story )
►Lady Gaga.
Kung Lady Gaga ka.. sa piling ng iba.. ( Kung Liligaya Ka )
►Para, Mamang Taxi.
I’m your biggest fan,
I’ll follow you until you love me.
Para, mamang taxi. ( PAPARAZZI )
►Nido, Gatas.
I Nido boo, gatas see you boo..
and the hearts all over the world tonight.
said the hearts all over the world tonight. ( With You )
►I-autoload mo ako. How much? Magkano?
Nothing’s gonna change my love for you,
i-autoload mo ko. how much? magkano?
( Nothing’s gonna change my love for you )
►Soon to Open: Pan de Manila.
Uno, dos, tres, soon to open Pan de Manila.
►Pritong Saba, Pritong Mani, Sinigang, Kare-kare.
Pritong saba, pritong mani, sinigang, kare-kare. Hallelu— Hallelujah.
►Kabag Again.
Now i’m speechless, over the edge of this breathless. I never thought that I would catch this, the kabag again. ( Lovebug )
►Melon, Kangkong, Mais, Gulaman, Talong.
Melon kangkang mais gulaman. Maari bang mag-talong? ( Nandito Ako )
►Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa.
Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa.
(intro - always be my baby - mariah)
►The Hill and Cow.
The hill and cow ang sigaw ng puso ko.
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko. ( Dahil Ikaw )
►Honda.
Honda first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.
( 12 days of Christmas )
►Honda ulit!
Honda wings of love!
Up and above the clouds the only way to fly,
is Honda Wings of Love. ( On the Wings of Love )
►Pacquiao.
But it’s over now. Come on and take Pacquiaooo ( Take A Bow )
►Lasengga.
All lasengga ladies. All lasengga ladies.
Put your hands up! ( Single Ladies )
►BDO.
Watch me on your BDO Phone. BDO phone. ( Videophone )
►Dina Bonnevie, Gary V.
Dina Bonnevie my lover, Gary V with my friends. ( Wannabe )
►Lactum.
I Lactum move it move it!
►Pulis may wang-wang.
Pulis may wang-wang-wang!
Shorty fire burning on the dance floor. Ooh~
►Tuna Pie. Tuna limit, tuna wall.
Tuna pie, tuna limit, tuna wall~ for a chance to be with you i’d rather risk it all. Tuna pie, tuna fever come what may! ~ ( Through the fire )
►China.
Chinaaa~ ika’y muling makita ko.
Damhin ang tibok ng puso mo. ( Sana )
►Mighty Mouse.
Mighty mouse outside Chicago.
Can’t stop driving I don’t know why~ ( Someday Well know )
►Coca Cola.
Coca cola lang sana ang iyong minahal,
di ka na muling mag-iisa. ( Kung ako nalang sana )
►Little Manuel.
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little manuel. I know, right know you can’t tell.
►Lesbians.
So lesbians, lesbians for love.
Lesbians, lesbians tonight! ( Last Dance )
►MOA.
Girl you know MOAAA, girl you know MOAAA. (birthday sex)
►Thesis.
Thesis the moment, my final test. ( This is the Moment )
►Cheesy palaman sa tasty.
No he ca’t read my poker face (cheesy-palaman-sa-tasty).
popopoker face popopoker face. ( Pokerface )
►New Zealand.
New Zealand ka sa mundong ito.
Laking tuwa ng magulang mo. ( Anak )
►Joana.
I joana close my eyes! I joanna fall asleep.
( I dont wanna miss a thing )
Don’t tell me you’re sorry Cashew Nut. ~ ( Take A Bow )
►Ginabing Kokey.
Just dance, ginabing kokey. Dadoodoom. ( Just Dance )
►Come back to me.
Come back to me bok ang puso.
Wala ka ng magagawa kundi sundin ito. ( Kapag Tumibok ang Puso )
►Kangkong, Kangkong, Greenwich, Tomato.
New York..kangkong, kangkong, greenwich, tomato.
Now you’re in New York! New York! ( Empire State of Mind )
►Sinigang.
Sinigaaang! Sandal ka lang. At wag mong pipigilan.~ ( Sandalan )
►Solusyon.
Solusyon, sa Visayas, at sa Mindanao! ( Wowowee )
►Civil War.
Civil war ang tunay na mahirap.
Civil war ang tunay na may malasakit. ( Manny Villar Political Jingle )
►Inday.
Indaaaaaay will always love you. ( I will always Love You )
►Phone na Nokia.
Phone na Nokia, di sinasadya.
Di kayang magtapat ang puso ko. ( Paano na Kaya )
►Kamuning.
Kamuning get me, get me, get me.
Baby i’m yours. Kaamuning get me. ( Get Me )
►Russian Patay.
Wise men say, only fools Russian,
patay can’t help, fallin in love with you. ( Cant help Fallin in Love )
►Terminal.
Terminal..
every now and then i get a little bit lonely.. ( Total Eclipse of the Heart )
►Alfred.
Alfred my wings and i learned how to fly.. ( Breakaway )
►Bumili ng bagong folding bed.
Bumili ng bagong folding bed, Mad at You! ( Mad )
►Pikachu.
No, I don’t wanna go to bed (pikachu). ( Mad )
►River boat.
River boat young when I first saw you. I close my eyes. ( Love Story )
►Lady Gaga.
Kung Lady Gaga ka.. sa piling ng iba.. ( Kung Liligaya Ka )
►Para, Mamang Taxi.
I’m your biggest fan,
I’ll follow you until you love me.
Para, mamang taxi. ( PAPARAZZI )
►Nido, Gatas.
I Nido boo, gatas see you boo..
and the hearts all over the world tonight.
said the hearts all over the world tonight. ( With You )
►I-autoload mo ako. How much? Magkano?
Nothing’s gonna change my love for you,
i-autoload mo ko. how much? magkano?
( Nothing’s gonna change my love for you )
►Soon to Open: Pan de Manila.
Uno, dos, tres, soon to open Pan de Manila.
►Pritong Saba, Pritong Mani, Sinigang, Kare-kare.
Pritong saba, pritong mani, sinigang, kare-kare. Hallelu— Hallelujah.
►Kabag Again.
Now i’m speechless, over the edge of this breathless. I never thought that I would catch this, the kabag again. ( Lovebug )
►Melon, Kangkong, Mais, Gulaman, Talong.
Melon kangkang mais gulaman. Maari bang mag-talong? ( Nandito Ako )
►Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa.
Kinurot ko. Kinurut-kurot ko pa.
(intro - always be my baby - mariah)
►The Hill and Cow.
The hill and cow ang sigaw ng puso ko.
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko. ( Dahil Ikaw )
►Honda.
Honda first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.
( 12 days of Christmas )
►Honda ulit!
Honda wings of love!
Up and above the clouds the only way to fly,
is Honda Wings of Love. ( On the Wings of Love )
►Pacquiao.
But it’s over now. Come on and take Pacquiaooo ( Take A Bow )
►Lasengga.
All lasengga ladies. All lasengga ladies.
Put your hands up! ( Single Ladies )
►BDO.
Watch me on your BDO Phone. BDO phone. ( Videophone )
►Dina Bonnevie, Gary V.
Dina Bonnevie my lover, Gary V with my friends. ( Wannabe )
►Lactum.
I Lactum move it move it!
►Pulis may wang-wang.
Pulis may wang-wang-wang!
Shorty fire burning on the dance floor. Ooh~
►Tuna Pie. Tuna limit, tuna wall.
Tuna pie, tuna limit, tuna wall~ for a chance to be with you i’d rather risk it all. Tuna pie, tuna fever come what may! ~ ( Through the fire )
►China.
Chinaaa~ ika’y muling makita ko.
Damhin ang tibok ng puso mo. ( Sana )
►Mighty Mouse.
Mighty mouse outside Chicago.
Can’t stop driving I don’t know why~ ( Someday Well know )
►Coca Cola.
Coca cola lang sana ang iyong minahal,
di ka na muling mag-iisa. ( Kung ako nalang sana )
►Little Manuel.
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little manuel. I know, right know you can’t tell.
►Lesbians.
So lesbians, lesbians for love.
Lesbians, lesbians tonight! ( Last Dance )
►MOA.
Girl you know MOAAA, girl you know MOAAA. (birthday sex)
►Thesis.
Thesis the moment, my final test. ( This is the Moment )
►Cheesy palaman sa tasty.
No he ca’t read my poker face (cheesy-palaman-sa-tasty).
popopoker face popopoker face. ( Pokerface )
►New Zealand.
New Zealand ka sa mundong ito.
Laking tuwa ng magulang mo. ( Anak )
►Joana.
I joana close my eyes! I joanna fall asleep.
( I dont wanna miss a thing )
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Parlor Scene Part II
Sa parehong parlor din nayun. Ay salon pala. Kasi sosyal daw ang salon. May pumasok na 45 year old na lalaki magpapagupit.
Hairdresser: Ano po ang gupit niyo sir?
Customer: Umm. Gusto ko magmukhang bata. Yung gupit na pambata ah?
Hairdresser: Ok po. Assistant. Pumunta ka ng pharmacy. Bumili ka ng PACIFIER. Bigay natin sa kanya. Gusto daw niya magmukhang bata!
Customer: ( Nalumpo. Nagkapolio. Lumuwa ng dugo...)
Hairdresser: Ano po ang gupit niyo sir?
Customer: Umm. Gusto ko magmukhang bata. Yung gupit na pambata ah?
Hairdresser: Ok po. Assistant. Pumunta ka ng pharmacy. Bumili ka ng PACIFIER. Bigay natin sa kanya. Gusto daw niya magmukhang bata!
Customer: ( Nalumpo. Nagkapolio. Lumuwa ng dugo...)
Parlor Scene Part I.®
Isang umaga may customer na pumasok sa isang parlor. Naabutan niya ang isang magandang manggugupit na bading.
Hairdresser: Sir, ano po ang gupit niyo?
Customer: Ahh. Simple lang. Linisin mo lang buhok ko. Yung malinis.
Hairdresser: Ahh ok cge. Assistant! Pakikuha nga ang walis diyan. Lilinisin daw natin buhok niya!
Customer: ( Labas mata! Duguan... )
Hairdresser: Sir, ano po ang gupit niyo?
Customer: Ahh. Simple lang. Linisin mo lang buhok ko. Yung malinis.
Hairdresser: Ahh ok cge. Assistant! Pakikuha nga ang walis diyan. Lilinisin daw natin buhok niya!
Customer: ( Labas mata! Duguan... )
Word of the Day!
Dang-
It means the least valuable but; a jot: Alteration of DAMN. [dæŋ]. interj & adv & adj. A euphemistic word for damn.
e.g.
"I dont give a dang!"
-- Whew! So thats the meaning of "dang". Me and my friends used it as a term of endearment. In exchange for friend, kabigan, joh, pare, mare, par, best, etc. Nako! Hahaha. So were calling ourselves damn! Hahaha. :P Our bad! ROTFWL.
It means the least valuable but; a jot: Alteration of DAMN. [dæŋ]. interj & adv & adj. A euphemistic word for damn.
e.g.
"I dont give a dang!"
-- Whew! So thats the meaning of "dang". Me and my friends used it as a term of endearment. In exchange for friend, kabigan, joh, pare, mare, par, best, etc. Nako! Hahaha. So were calling ourselves damn! Hahaha. :P Our bad! ROTFWL.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Baklang Baklang Kanta ( Gay Song )
Song Title: Bubuka Ang Bulaklak ~ Group of kids forming a circle that opens and close like a flower, then one person (the "queen") would go in the circle would dance to the tune of boom tiyaya.
Bubukesh and floweret ~ Bubuka ang bulaklak (the flower will open)
Jojosok ang reynabelz ~ Papasok ang reyna (the queen will enter)
Shochurva ang chacha ~ Sasayaw ng chacha (she willl dance chacha)
Pa jempot jempot fah ~ Pa kembot kembot pa (with swinging hips)
Boom tiyayavush chenes ~ Boom ti yah yah
Song Title: Pen Pen de Sarapen ~ Rhyming chant like eenie meenie miney mo.
Pen pen de chorvaloo ~ Pen pen de sarapen
De kemerloo de eklavoo ~ De kutsilyo, de almasen (kutsilyo=knife, almasen=warehouse)
Hao hao de chenelyn de big yuten ~ Haw, haw de karabaw de batuten (karabaw=water buffalo, batuten=stinky)
Sfriti dapat iipit ~ Sipit namimilipit (claws that pinch)
Goldness filak chumochorva ~ Ginto`t pilak namumulaklak (gold and silver flourishing)
Sa tabi ng chenes ~ Sa tabi ng dagat (next to the sea)
Shoyang fula, talong na fula ~ Sayang pula, tatlong pera (red skirt, three pesos)
Shoyang fute, talong na mafute ~ Sayang puti, tatlong salapi (white skirt, three pesos)
Chuk chak chenes, namo uz ek ~ Sawsaw sa suka, mahuli ay taya (dip in vinegar, last is out)
Bubukesh and floweret ~ Bubuka ang bulaklak (the flower will open)
Jojosok ang reynabelz ~ Papasok ang reyna (the queen will enter)
Shochurva ang chacha ~ Sasayaw ng chacha (she willl dance chacha)
Pa jempot jempot fah ~ Pa kembot kembot pa (with swinging hips)
Boom tiyayavush chenes ~ Boom ti yah yah
Song Title: Pen Pen de Sarapen ~ Rhyming chant like eenie meenie miney mo.
Pen pen de chorvaloo ~ Pen pen de sarapen
De kemerloo de eklavoo ~ De kutsilyo, de almasen (kutsilyo=knife, almasen=warehouse)
Hao hao de chenelyn de big yuten ~ Haw, haw de karabaw de batuten (karabaw=water buffalo, batuten=stinky)
Sfriti dapat iipit ~ Sipit namimilipit (claws that pinch)
Goldness filak chumochorva ~ Ginto`t pilak namumulaklak (gold and silver flourishing)
Sa tabi ng chenes ~ Sa tabi ng dagat (next to the sea)
Shoyang fula, talong na fula ~ Sayang pula, tatlong pera (red skirt, three pesos)
Shoyang fute, talong na mafute ~ Sayang puti, tatlong salapi (white skirt, three pesos)
Chuk chak chenes, namo uz ek ~ Sawsaw sa suka, mahuli ay taya (dip in vinegar, last is out)
So GAY story! ( Gay Linggo Translation )
Tom Jones ang mga bekla kaya gora ever sa mall para lumafang. Una nilang jonta ang nyudkort, kaya lang maraming utaw. Go naman sa Nyorbaks, kaya lang can't afford pala ang drama ng iba. Sey nga ni Kimberly, Mahalia Mendez daw ng kape, juwi na lang siya later para mag-Nescafe. Warla ngayon si Georgette, ang Rica Boom Boom ng federasyon. Tom Cruise na talaga siya't wai na patience, kaya shuwag ever siya sa kanyang chimini ah ah. "Yaya, dalhin mo ditech ang anda," sey ng bakla.
Translation:
"The gays are very hungry so they went to the mall to eat. First they went to the food court, but there's a lot of people. Then they went to Starbucks but most of them can't afford the price. Kimberly said that coffee is expensive, that's why she'll just drink Nescafe at home. Georgette is not present, the prettiest of all gay. She was too hungry and was very impatient that's why she called her maid. "Yaya, bring the food here" says the gay."
Translation:
"The gays are very hungry so they went to the mall to eat. First they went to the food court, but there's a lot of people. Then they went to Starbucks but most of them can't afford the price. Kimberly said that coffee is expensive, that's why she'll just drink Nescafe at home. Georgette is not present, the prettiest of all gay. She was too hungry and was very impatient that's why she called her maid. "Yaya, bring the food here" says the gay."
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
FUNNY FRIENDSTER PROS. :DDDD
I was trying to look for funny things on the web. Then, I came across this multiply site: http://joinky.multiply.com/journal/item/4
Here. Have a taste of the FUNNY PROFILES> ( I bet you will like this! LMAO!) I just had a headache while reading this. Even got Internal Hemorrhage. LMFAO!
1) Ayumi
Occupation: student
Companies: rockers companies!
Hobby: chating!!
wants to meet "pretty girls!! only!! hehes!!" (Bakit kaya installment? Read this with feelings for maximum appreciation. Complete with the pauses.)
2) -GEniE Lou-
aBouT me???? (Eh kailangan pa ba namang i-reiterate na about you ito?) A persOn wHo is veRy conservative, have positive outlook in lyf, suMtyms I brEak pRomises dat can cause someone angry w/ me (Grrrrr!!! Nakakagalit talaga!) .... im very productive person... everytime i do some task or deeds i will make a plan 1st b4 i go 4 it. im very fond ! in listening 2 musizzzz im da type of person dat tells frankly (And Frankly would be... your best friend's name?)
3) jOnah-nUevE 'kikAy fOe RiL'
Companies: oN mAh hiStOry.. wYL i WAs On A mAll hOppiNg.. sUmvody GAve mE A stArstruck fOrM... HAhA! itz kinDA wEiRD.... wAtZ uP wit dAt huH? (What's up with YOU???)
4) -aNnA-
MaArtE,SEnSItive, SuPlAdITa, FRiEnDly, fAshiOnIStA, KikAy, AtTraCtiVe AnD EveRytHinG NiCE THaT Was Me!! (Was ba talaga?) MaTaLinO (ThEReS N o OnE IN THiS WoRLd hAs stUpId MiNDs) (You might want to reconsider this.) mAaRte aKo PeRo InDi AkO mAlAnDE-jUZ DOn'T EvEr jUdGe Me cOz yOu dONt mE aT AlL.... (Huh?) AND ..... YoU MuZ ReMEmBeR eVeRYtHinGs hAs a reAsONS..... DoNt ! DArE mE COz YoU DoNt knOw wHaT CaN I dO (Eh parang clueless ka din naman eh.) SoMe peopLe dOnT UnDErSTaNd WhAT Is my aTtItUde BUt dOnT JuDgE aNyOnE...... .. i pRoTeCT my fRieNdS...aNd pRoTeCt YoUrs :) (I sure will-from you.)
5) catherine joyii
Affiliations: Catholic (Bang!)
"dont lyk pipol hu r very: PLASTIKS, pa EPAL, LIARS and anything na mga BAD ATTITUDE I like hu r vry gud.... (Huh? Who?)!!! "and if u want me to ur friend, jaz aDD me uP" (Bang! Bang!)
6) alexandra rose sobida
About Her: long hair, bolding eyes (Hmm... meaning?), red lips and long life (Amen!)
Who She Wants to Meet: a spiecial boy in my hole life forever and ever (Amen ulit!)
7) maria princesa
caption ng picture: "am i look good"
Affiliations: An roman catholic
Favorite TV Shows: OPHRA (Of-ra ba kamo?)
About Her: Me......... hmmmmmm ...... simpl! e and always happy....... . i know you've get it.......... . (Actually, hindi.)
wants to meet "somebody who has a sen se of humor and simple gets" (Simple gets. Maghanap ka ng ibang kausap, 'ne!)
8) lito
Companies: wa lang. im just in the class room seating on my chair and flerting with gurls....... (Tsk, tsk. Yur a beri bud boi ah!)
TV Shows: Whos line is that? (Nabitin sa title.) and teleseryes
About him: I am a 19 year old strait guy, and i love doing creative stuff and having fun.... entering personal relationships with girls and guys even gays is okey with me as long as they are mature and responsible enough to hundle a relationship. By the way!!! (Shet. Naninigaw siya!) before, I was against bisexual relationships en even sexual intercoarses (Papel de liha daw. Magaspang eh.) between same sexes, that was me before that memorable night happen to me when i was in 4th year highschool.. .. (Sus! Baka mabasa 'to ng mga magulang mo!)
Sa inyong pagbaybay sa kanyang fantasy land (aka friendster profile-"about me" section) kung maaari lamang po'y 'wag niyong kaligtaan bigyan ng pansin ang mga sumusunod:
boardmaits
permission to my parents
inerested
desided
leaking ("Licking" 'to actually.)
niples (Hala. Kulang. Baka 1 lang din ang kanya.)
stroakign (believe me, he meant "stroking.")
saterday
apartmen
doing our staff i realizes (I DEMAND A REFAND!!!) < /div>
9) lady biolente
caption ng picture: "it's meh,panget koh d2 bat kya!!! hehehe" (Hmm... bakit nga kaya?)
Occupation: collage student (Wow. BA Collage ba 'yan? Sana nag-fine arts ka na lang para diverse tapos major in collage!)
Movie: the ant (At starring sino naman kaya?)
About her: ahm.......about meeh!!!??? ATTITUDE? kind,suplada minsan.. pro most of da tym mabait meeeh..., makulit, lagi na nka-smyl ngaun... talented pa! i can dance. i can sing....i can fly basta ba my wings, eh...he!he!he! (Feeling langaw.) OUTLOOK? syempre magand a,noh! alangan nmn laitin k ang sarili koh...height koh? 5'3'' ASSET KOH? my legs sbi nila.... taken na meehh....... ...should I say yes!? (No. Utang na loob, paki intindi ng mga pinagsusulat niya.)
10) Geneveve
Occupation: business women (Marami siguro silang may-ari ng account na 'to.)
Affili ations: business
Hobbies: watcing tv (Watsing?)
About her: beutiful and honest
wants to meet... i want ta meet people is simple only (Good luck with that.)
11) christopher
Hobbies: lapping trip (Macho dancer in da house!) ; tambay; sound trip; gumala
My Looks: punkiztah (Eh talaga bang kailangan 'to?)
12) masaaki
Affiliations: Governor (Sa bagay, puwede nga namang he's affiliated with the governor... pero mali eh...! Maliiiiii!)
Hobbies and Interests: play guitar and to be band
About Him: cOoL... taLL.... sMarT.... & mO$t oF th! aT tRuth LovEr..... (As in "mahal ang katotohanan" o "true lover" ba dapat?) ha..ha...ha. ...ha.... .ha..... eVerythiNgs' trUth (Words of wisdom from Masaaki * Palakpakan *)
13) gummibear
About Me:"im kaRReL.. iM a giRL hu oLweZ waNa b HappY buT jSt cnT b! I cAn eiTHer b sEriouS oR siLLy... liBeraTed,,fuN. .no worrieS.. iM a prActiCal woMan n I eiTHer (Baka naman "I'd rather...") Lose mY heart dAN my bRaiNS.. (So which one DID you lose? Clue naman diyan...) it'S harD 2 piCk uP d piEceS oF my liFe..,, veRy comPlicaTed. . buT noT noW.. (Ano ba talaga? Complicated ba o hindi?) i dNt bLiV iN dEsTinY iM abouT reALiTy., uR liFE iS in uR hAnds//// so uR d 1 hu coMpLicaTe iT...." (No, no, no-YOU complicate it.)
14) maricel
Occupation: looking a job (Magandang career 'yan.)
Hobbies: dancing, chatting, reading book, outting outdoors (Outting outdoors... hmm. I wonder...)
Favorite Book: The Purpose Driven in life (Ito ba talaga ang title ng aklat na ito?)
M! usic: fashions (Maaari bang bigyang linaw ninyo kung anong nagaganap dito?)
15) Breeks
Favorite Music: stay w/ cushe, the day u said gudnyt w/ hale, kahit pa w/ hale again, specialy 4 u w/ MYMP, tell me y it herts (Eh ilang kilo Hertz ba iyan?) w/ MYMP again, love moves in mysteriuos ways w/ NINA ehehehe!!!!
About Me: im a person n siryoso pro happy ksm en i dont like sa mga pipol n plastik gus2 ko ung dldl ("Daldal" pala 'to. Akala ko naman kung ano...) pro my sen ce ung cnsabi en real... im sure n mag kksundo tyo!!! Practically (Baka "basically." ) i want pretty girls but honestly i like mostly girls who are nice to accompany (Escort service ba ang hanap niyo?) and not malandi ...waaaaah i hope i cud fyn special one !!! (Lord, ang sakit na talaga ng ulo ko.)
16) Anthony
Affiliations: hardcore serial killer/frustrated assassin, computer addict (Malamang "describe yourself" ang pagkakaintindi niya dito.)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter all the movies that were already shown and including the one's that is still being made (Wow, advanced.)
Favorite Music: alternative, rock, mellow, pop, kahit ano basta hale o cueshe ( Aba , very seasoned ah.)
About Me: im just a person who sit's silently on one corner (Yeah. And stay there.)
17) -pRettY cAng-
Favorite Music: ACOUSTIC...reggea (Huh?)
"me?? im just a si mple girl... hmmm... sometimes im othistic" (Ayuneeeee! Ops, wala akong sinabi...! It came straight right out of the proverbial horse's mouth!)
"loves 2 eat but still sexy and i carry myself very well with the way I look and the way i dress." (Why don't we just take her word for it?)
"when it comes to my character, i reflect myself as a conforming one because i have tested myself of doing things which anticipated to be done." (Tissue, please. Dumudugo ang ilong ko.)
18) SheZzO GraniTy
Hometown: AurOrA wEr CrimE iS OrGaniZeD (Ingat dito mga kapatid.) En ThA RuLe 2 FoLLoW (Is what...?)
Schools: sTa.cLarA wEr pLenTy oF mUrdErEr OccUrS (Tandaan ang paaralang ito-'wag ie-enroll ang mga bata dito.)
Affiliations: ThuG BaLLa bAbY oF kArEn rOsE
About Me: i CamE FrOm a SmaLL TowN wEr oL ThA GenGsTerS- kiLLahZ- DruG DeaLahZ- YounG bLoOdS- LiVin aLonE AnD biG TyM SinDiCaTe ArE OcCurS (Ito pala ang nuknukan... Ano ba'ng number sa police station?)
19) -lil LiZ-:
"rOcKeRz!! n pUnKz!!!! ASTIG!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" (Yeah. Sure.)
Affiliations: tEnNaGe LiFe!! (Double dead ito. Mali na, wrong spelling pa. Tsk.)
Favorite Movies: chukie 1 and 2 (Chukie? Malamang habulin ka talaga ng saksak ng manikang 'to dahil na-misspell mo yung pangalan niya.)
wants to meet "ANYONE. if ya want to know more just sen me a message!!" (Once again, no tenks.)
20) -'kEiXi'-
Hometown: nAVOetAst (In truth, NAVOTAS. Haaaay. Baketttttttttt? ????)
About Me: aqOuh?? (Hindi-ako daw...) .. cHimPle LAng.. bUT cAn maKE yUr hEAd tURn (Feel ko na nga mag-a la-Exorcist this far eh.) ,, *HoTcHiC**sEXy dAw..cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw (Masyado kang nagpapaniwala. ...) .. sVi qEw nAMn.. mAdAnDa aqEw.. maArTE?/..sObra ** hiHi.. nDi mHEii mAarTE.. kAla nYOuh lAng yUn,, kSHi cHigURo .. yU fOUnd mE.. wEAriNg uNiqUe eAriNgs.. (So...?) USing mAkEuP.. oWeYs lOoKing mY fACe in tHE mirror.. mAarTE bAh yUN? (Hindi naman masyado)
who i want to meet: "xA aCcoUnt qEw..kHit cHiNU pwEde.. kHit ikA'y mUkhang .. tAtaNgAPEn kiTAh bsTAh bAH TEZti cOUh aAhh" (Yuneeeeeeee! !! Testimonial pala ang habol.)
21) PrEtty StEpS IV
Affiliations: vOLLeYBaLL pLaYeR, cOLLeGe sTuDeNt, pARt tiMe MoDeL (iN MAHdReaMZ) (Huy, gising!), ChEEr DanCER & UR fRiEnDLiEsT nEiGhBoR iN ToWn......!! !! ( Aba , waynat?!)
"I wud nEver faLL again fOr soMeOne he's hEad oVer heeLs wiTh (So you're into girls...?) iN Comes To A rELATIONShIP I am faiTHfuL aNd sweet I haTes aNd curSes pLayErs (Playaz beware!) I am eMoTioNaL, I lisTens to My mind buT I stiLL foLLows My heart (Gollum? Is this you?) someone U Can tRUsT On
THANK YOU FOR PATRONIZING MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT LOVE YOU ALL (Uy, artista. Love lots ba?)
22) -sTaY ovErLoaD-
Hometown: TaGuiG..ThE FLazE To bEE..MaHoGanY (Yes naman!)
Occupation: boniFiEd (na-Boni? Ano?) and cErTiFied HeavEn ringEr..aLpha MaN.. (Meaning...? )
Affiliations: aFiLL-FuLL and ThuguFuLL..ThEY r grEaT jusT 4 onE nigHT buT iM grEaT evErY nigHT!! (Something tells me that... nah... 'wag na lang. Think what you want.)
23) Jean
Companies: Schools (Puwede naman...)
Affiliations: Cristianity (Yun na!)
Who I Want to Meet: "be always respect the universal trademark clan within the highest organization" (Oh. My Gadddd. This could be the motherest of them all grand statements, don't you think?)
24) adora
Companies: companies of CUTE PERSON (Yeah. What. Ever.)
Favorite Movies: thombraider (Thom the Braider daw? Ano?)
"ME...a simple GOD creature (Right... Of course you are.) , a high climber (Feeling unggoy.) & aggressive person, i want a new clothes, books..... ( Aba . At may wishlist pa!) some of my other descriptions are---->friendly, jealousy, cute, honest..." (Just what exactly was he trying to do here again?)
"i love spaghetty" (Aaah... ako, spaghetti ang gusto ko.)
Who I Want to Meet: A CUTE PERSON..and i hate a person who has a BAD IMAGE like being ignored, finishing second, hand-me-downs, waiting, LIAR, forgetfullnes, haste, feeling ignorant, vulgarity, ugliness, being pressured, LOUD ARGUMENTS & MAKING PROMISES.. (May kaunting kaguluhan.)
25) giriz
Affiliations: Bsta Nilalang sa EarTh pro luv c God (Oh... And what do we have here?)
"i like" play badminton." (Me don't like.)
"My true name: Giriz Romanos" (At an o naman yung fake?)
"I was born: in Earth!!!" (Are you sure? Is that your final answer?)
"I dont juge the book by its cover I read it first" (Aminin nating may punto siya... pero BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA pa rin!)
26) ooohweeeh gUl
Ms. "beat mah sexxy ass if u fwakin can" (I won't even fwakin try! Man!!! WHAT does this mean???)
About Me: "im juss a simple gul wit very naughty attitudes that guys might like and love" (Guys, totoo ba 'to?)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet different pips ho can carry dir self very and has strong personality" (Haaaaay.)
27) Bhabes
Affiliations: sana magkaroon ako ng boy friend n very gentleman, and caring person at igagalang k ng 22o. (Kami siguro, igagalang niya. Ikaw... sana rin.)
Favorite Books: ..."a dauther is a forever" (A what is forever??? Hala na...)
Favorite TV Shows: amanda show, spongebob disney, rush hour 2, parents trap, freacky Friday (Parang freacky freckles ang naisip ko dito...) basta ung nakakakilig na panoorin., ung mga tpong png lovers only.ung nkakakilig (Ay ewan ko sa'yo.)
28) Jha
Favorite Music: aLL e'M oF mUsIc As SoOn ThAt It's NoT iRrITaTe Me (YOU irritate me.)
About Me: !nSan3 Of NaTuRe: I liKe aLwAyS aN aDvEnTuRe & ThriLL iN mAh LiF3 i NeVer LoSt ThAt cOz, I'm The On3 who LoOk & FiNd FoR tHat B4 k!!! rYt nOw NOTHING!!! jUsT aN oRdInARy Mhe (But still insane of nature, quite obviously.)
Who I Want to Meet: who need to talk to someone. (Is this a question? Maybe YOU need to talk to someone-at sana magkaintindihan kayo.)
29) m E d Y FULL
Favorite Books: lovHisToRy Of My SeLf by: The one who es YOu!!!!! It's mE!! (Teka, nahulog ako sa upuan ko.)
About Me: "...i'm a simple person with a simple traits... dat's ol!" (Bow. I tenk you.)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet ol of you, someone lyk you, whose fun to be with... of coarse... YOU"" (Ikaw-ikaw ang magaspang. Pareho kayo ni Contestant #8.)
30) Giselle
Hobbies: "im fun of texting ... im fun of dancin, sleeping, eating and singing and also fun of spending time with my frends" (Wow! What a FUN person you are! Ganito din ang fave books niya-"I'm fun of...")
"i want to make friends to all the pipol in the world!!! .... i want to meet pipol who is friendly and jam to be with!!" (Hayyyyy... Diyos na mahabagin!)
31) Gtonjethone
"Don't let my looks fool you! Im a EDUCATED FOOL w/ PARTIES, DISCO AND GAMES in my MIND!" (Uy! Gangsta's Paradise na combo meal! Sakto!)
"...Sometime i go further till 6 or 7am..." (Ano daw?)
"I want a long hair! (Isa lang ba talaga ang gusto mo?) So i can copy my sitmates answer w/out being seen by my teacher!" (Tsk, tsk. Principal's office na 'to.)
"I love ANEMI FANATICS like myself!" (Ang dapat sa'yo ay Hara Kiri.)
32) cOmWiZgiRL VII
"iM a siMpLe girL!prO mnSn rAkiZtA oUtfit aQ!" (Tsssssssss. Kayo ang nagpapababa ng kahulugan ng pagiging rocker.)
"Luk mtrAy at chUpLaDa dw cHAbi nG mGa kpitbhy nMin" (What's with the "ch-"? Geez.)
"d aQ mAartE!(pWerA LnG iF tiNO2pAk aQ!)" (At mukhang lagi kang tinotopak.)
wants to meet "ung mga nkanursing na uniform. (i duNnO y, maybE tHey nEat)" - (Yeah. Maybe.)
33) tEtHeN
Hobbies and Interests: cmPle Lng...bOys.. bOys...and bOys...bSta lOt oF boYs... (I leave it up to my discerning fellow readers to pass judgment on this one...)
Favorite Books: ..y U mAkE me fiL xo gAga Ba wiD yaH..!!!???! ! (Minumura na ba tayo?)
"dMIng KOng lAit sA mgA cHakA...wAhekS" (Hulaan mo kung kanino ako maraming lait... that's right!)
wants to meet someome "tO bE mY crYinG sHoulDer aNd mY stRenGht" (O, calling on all those na may crying shoulder...)
34) raceL
"its been a long time since i involved in a relationship" (I think I know why...) so pls hands off if ur just playing on me..." (Noli Me Tangere.) You can always here me sharing my opinions to others" (Here you? O baka there you? Ano ba?)
"During my past-time, i browse and browse internet..." (Adik ka!)
friends: "as long as we clicked each other's company...that' s fine with me" (Huh?)
"Some says I'm a masungit" (Ay. Dizz iz it, folks.)
35) kleeny (Hanep sa pangalan. Tamang-tama, sinisipon ako.)
Companies: Not Yet. (O 'wag daw muna! Atat ka eh.)
Favorite Books: All Books as long as there are sense about LOVE ( Sana ito ring sinabi mo na 'to may sense.)
"U will enjoy my company...I assure you 4 that" (Nako, girl! FOR THAT, featured ka dito!)
"I have a long curly Hair (Take note: isang kulot na buhok lang.) & my friends said that i have a cute Chinese eyes!!" (Naniningkit na ba kayo sa asar?)
"Want to Meet? Whoever, whatever as long as they are Good & Respected People (Politicians, perhaps?). I like a Persons who are Triple S stands for SIMPLE, SWEET & SINCERE..." (Tandaan sa darating na halalan!)
36) shanlee
Affiliations: socialization (Somebody-anybody, please start defining affiliations. Utang na loob.)
"easy to belong with specially to those people hu r nice too"
37) Maricar
Affiliations: cosmetics (This part has never ceased to amaze me.)
Hobbies and Interests: ...making friends globally (Hello, Ms Congeniality! )
"sometime I can't hide 'the child in me'." (Paki tago, please.)
"I firmly believe that 'The way to A Man's Heart is Through His Stomach' thats why i like winning my man by preparing him delicious and nutritious food." (Thank you, Dr Quack-Quack. )
Who I Want to Meet: I want him to be HIMSELF!!!!! (Sino daw? Buti 'di mo sinabing "I want to be HIMSELF!" Buti na lang talaga...)
38) jAcMuZiKaDiK- V
fave music: i DiG aLm0Zt oL KiNdZ gez m so versatile. (Uhh, yeah. Right.)
"im s0o0o0o0 REAL...thts foe meh!!" (Foe meeh, yoe not, dawg.)
"sounds COINCEITED but m not!!!" (May identity crisis ang COINCEITED na ito.)
"i dnt have d ASS( w/c most of d guyz dig n2)..." (Shet! Dig INTO?! Arayyyyyyyy! !!)
39) JeAn
"my friend call me roni for short bu! t to make it long call me roni-jean" (Pahabain pa ba natin ang usapan?)
she "can be please easily" & "know how to deal wth diff.type of person (even d tambay i can deal wth dem)" ( Aba , tignan niyo nga naman!)
"vulgar...i can say wt i wnt....even its not gud in ur ear..." (Now look what you've done! Kanina ilong lang... now my ears are bleeding too!!! Huhuhu!)
40) Collen May
"I am Ms. Personality and Ms. Congeniality (Ibig sabihin, hindi daw siya kagandahan.) daw with long black straight hair and morena. I am friendly in school (especially with the teachers- (Kailangan eh...ops! Hindi sipsip-friendship lang ito.) ) and even the alumni people!!! Kasi some of them are my neighbors."
"I love wearing and accesorizing clothes to make myself beautiful... :-) (Nag-work naman ba?) hello...joke lang po! They say i walk like a model or just pretending to walk like one but its the way i walk, really it's the truth and nothing but! (O ha?! O ha?!)"
41) Daryl
"me?? im ayl hndi mganda pro SEXY!hehehe. .! pangit pro MATALINO. Hndi kgandahan pro MABAIT..." (Ipinagdiinang pangit siya. What can I say?)
42) Aaron
"Ahhhhhhmmmmm! !!!! Just add me to your friend.... (Uhh... sige. Kanino mo gusto?) If you really wanna know about mee (No, I really don't.)!!!!!, but just an impression, im not gonna be what you expect" (Oh really? Try me.)
43) wilmar
"im a true freind that im willing to fight my friends (Panigurado, pala-away ang batang ito.) , sometimes she can be rude if you want to and she really hates plastic person (What did I miss? Who's "she?"). im prank very prank (You're a joke, that's for sure.) and if i hates i tell it to them para hinde nila masabi na im so beas." (Do you think he (or she-whatever) means "bias" here? Whatchuguystink? )
44) tThHaaALyN
Affiliations: meeting different ki nd of people...=> those people who I can easily asses myself with...=D (This is too much for my kokote.)
Hobbies and Interests: people who's fun to be with ! and interesting. .....have mood swings too...wen provoked!! im a different type of girl... not the one that u always encounter wid!! (Nadapa pa. Dinagdagan pa kasi ng "with" eh. Tsk, tsk.)
"want 2 mit?? well does people who's please to mit me 2!!!" (Sabog na ulo ko.)
45) Princess
Affiliations: im friendly and everything:) (Huhuhu... why, God???)
"im fund of music... ("Fund" naman ang drama nito, hindi na "fun" (see Contestant #30). Mukhang mayaman!) i want to... build a Europian school here in the Philippines " (Mayaman nga 'ata...)
Who I Want To Meet: "im open for all..." (Feeling Ministop.)
46) 'marlaX'
"mah hair s quite long a nd sleek wit a bang" (Medyo nahuli, pero happy new year pa rin!)
"i hv ds pierce on mah upper left ear" (On yawh uppah left eah ba? Tigazzzzz!)
"kaya pls lng wlang poporma at wag mgbalak manligaw dto!" (Hint, hint! Mag-reverse psychology ba?)
47) Jas
Motto: If there's a will, There's a will... (Haaay. Been there been that.)
Favorite Day: Everyday (Sa bagay, 7 lang naman ang araw sa isang lingo...)
J - jesus*
A - almighty*
S - savior*
* (What the...?!?!? Can't we just leave Jesus out of this? Geez...)
48) Arvie Jan
"ako ang nag-inspired kay Boy Abunda sa fassion." (Ows?)
"because relationship comes and go but friendship is forever!!! ininglish pa yun!!!" ( Aba . Proud pa siya.)
49) Joel
all of you are welcome in my friendster.. . even if you are a girl,boy,lesbian, gay,hunk, or naugthy...or either you are a bisexual or trisexual... (Wow. Lahat tanggap niya. Kamon let's join us!)
50) beware
"so kung feel mo akong maging friend, take the risk! face all the hardships and danger... hu knows? baka dun mo makita ang kasiyahan na hindi mo pa nadarama sa buhay mo.." (Hmm... do you think this is a threat?)
Here. Have a taste of the FUNNY PROFILES> ( I bet you will like this! LMAO!) I just had a headache while reading this. Even got Internal Hemorrhage. LMFAO!
1) Ayumi
Occupation: student
Companies: rockers companies!
Hobby: chating!!
wants to meet "pretty girls!! only!! hehes!!" (Bakit kaya installment? Read this with feelings for maximum appreciation. Complete with the pauses.)
2) -GEniE Lou-
aBouT me???? (Eh kailangan pa ba namang i-reiterate na about you ito?) A persOn wHo is veRy conservative, have positive outlook in lyf, suMtyms I brEak pRomises dat can cause someone angry w/ me (Grrrrr!!! Nakakagalit talaga!) .... im very productive person... everytime i do some task or deeds i will make a plan 1st b4 i go 4 it. im very fond ! in listening 2 musizzzz im da type of person dat tells frankly (And Frankly would be... your best friend's name?)
3) jOnah-nUevE 'kikAy fOe RiL'
Companies: oN mAh hiStOry.. wYL i WAs On A mAll hOppiNg.. sUmvody GAve mE A stArstruck fOrM... HAhA! itz kinDA wEiRD.... wAtZ uP wit dAt huH? (What's up with YOU???)
4) -aNnA-
MaArtE,SEnSItive, SuPlAdITa, FRiEnDly, fAshiOnIStA, KikAy, AtTraCtiVe AnD EveRytHinG NiCE THaT Was Me!! (Was ba talaga?) MaTaLinO (ThEReS N o OnE IN THiS WoRLd hAs stUpId MiNDs) (You might want to reconsider this.) mAaRte aKo PeRo InDi AkO mAlAnDE-jUZ DOn'T EvEr jUdGe Me cOz yOu dONt mE aT AlL.... (Huh?) AND ..... YoU MuZ ReMEmBeR eVeRYtHinGs hAs a reAsONS..... DoNt ! DArE mE COz YoU DoNt knOw wHaT CaN I dO (Eh parang clueless ka din naman eh.) SoMe peopLe dOnT UnDErSTaNd WhAT Is my aTtItUde BUt dOnT JuDgE aNyOnE...... .. i pRoTeCT my fRieNdS...aNd pRoTeCt YoUrs :) (I sure will-from you.)
5) catherine joyii
Affiliations: Catholic (Bang!)
"dont lyk pipol hu r very: PLASTIKS, pa EPAL, LIARS and anything na mga BAD ATTITUDE I like hu r vry gud.... (Huh? Who?)!!! "and if u want me to ur friend, jaz aDD me uP" (Bang! Bang!)
6) alexandra rose sobida
About Her: long hair, bolding eyes (Hmm... meaning?), red lips and long life (Amen!)
Who She Wants to Meet: a spiecial boy in my hole life forever and ever (Amen ulit!)
7) maria princesa
caption ng picture: "am i look good"
Affiliations: An roman catholic
Favorite TV Shows: OPHRA (Of-ra ba kamo?)
About Her: Me......... hmmmmmm ...... simpl! e and always happy....... . i know you've get it.......... . (Actually, hindi.)
wants to meet "somebody who has a sen se of humor and simple gets" (Simple gets. Maghanap ka ng ibang kausap, 'ne!)
8) lito
Companies: wa lang. im just in the class room seating on my chair and flerting with gurls....... (Tsk, tsk. Yur a beri bud boi ah!)
TV Shows: Whos line is that? (Nabitin sa title.) and teleseryes
About him: I am a 19 year old strait guy, and i love doing creative stuff and having fun.... entering personal relationships with girls and guys even gays is okey with me as long as they are mature and responsible enough to hundle a relationship. By the way!!! (Shet. Naninigaw siya!) before, I was against bisexual relationships en even sexual intercoarses (Papel de liha daw. Magaspang eh.) between same sexes, that was me before that memorable night happen to me when i was in 4th year highschool.. .. (Sus! Baka mabasa 'to ng mga magulang mo!)
Sa inyong pagbaybay sa kanyang fantasy land (aka friendster profile-"about me" section) kung maaari lamang po'y 'wag niyong kaligtaan bigyan ng pansin ang mga sumusunod:
boardmaits
permission to my parents
inerested
desided
leaking ("Licking" 'to actually.)
niples (Hala. Kulang. Baka 1 lang din ang kanya.)
stroakign (believe me, he meant "stroking.")
saterday
apartmen
doing our staff i realizes (I DEMAND A REFAND!!!) < /div>
9) lady biolente
caption ng picture: "it's meh,panget koh d2 bat kya!!! hehehe" (Hmm... bakit nga kaya?)
Occupation: collage student (Wow. BA Collage ba 'yan? Sana nag-fine arts ka na lang para diverse tapos major in collage!)
Movie: the ant (At starring sino naman kaya?)
About her: ahm.......about meeh!!!??? ATTITUDE? kind,suplada minsan.. pro most of da tym mabait meeeh..., makulit, lagi na nka-smyl ngaun... talented pa! i can dance. i can sing....i can fly basta ba my wings, eh...he!he!he! (Feeling langaw.) OUTLOOK? syempre magand a,noh! alangan nmn laitin k ang sarili koh...height koh? 5'3'' ASSET KOH? my legs sbi nila.... taken na meehh....... ...should I say yes!? (No. Utang na loob, paki intindi ng mga pinagsusulat niya.)
10) Geneveve
Occupation: business women (Marami siguro silang may-ari ng account na 'to.)
Affili ations: business
Hobbies: watcing tv (Watsing?)
About her: beutiful and honest
wants to meet... i want ta meet people is simple only (Good luck with that.)
11) christopher
Hobbies: lapping trip (Macho dancer in da house!) ; tambay; sound trip; gumala
My Looks: punkiztah (Eh talaga bang kailangan 'to?)
12) masaaki
Affiliations: Governor (Sa bagay, puwede nga namang he's affiliated with the governor... pero mali eh...! Maliiiiii!)
Hobbies and Interests: play guitar and to be band
About Him: cOoL... taLL.... sMarT.... & mO$t oF th! aT tRuth LovEr..... (As in "mahal ang katotohanan" o "true lover" ba dapat?) ha..ha...ha. ...ha.... .ha..... eVerythiNgs' trUth (Words of wisdom from Masaaki * Palakpakan *)
13) gummibear
About Me:"im kaRReL.. iM a giRL hu oLweZ waNa b HappY buT jSt cnT b! I cAn eiTHer b sEriouS oR siLLy... liBeraTed,,fuN. .no worrieS.. iM a prActiCal woMan n I eiTHer (Baka naman "I'd rather...") Lose mY heart dAN my bRaiNS.. (So which one DID you lose? Clue naman diyan...) it'S harD 2 piCk uP d piEceS oF my liFe..,, veRy comPlicaTed. . buT noT noW.. (Ano ba talaga? Complicated ba o hindi?) i dNt bLiV iN dEsTinY iM abouT reALiTy., uR liFE iS in uR hAnds//// so uR d 1 hu coMpLicaTe iT...." (No, no, no-YOU complicate it.)
14) maricel
Occupation: looking a job (Magandang career 'yan.)
Hobbies: dancing, chatting, reading book, outting outdoors (Outting outdoors... hmm. I wonder...)
Favorite Book: The Purpose Driven in life (Ito ba talaga ang title ng aklat na ito?)
M! usic: fashions (Maaari bang bigyang linaw ninyo kung anong nagaganap dito?)
15) Breeks
Favorite Music: stay w/ cushe, the day u said gudnyt w/ hale, kahit pa w/ hale again, specialy 4 u w/ MYMP, tell me y it herts (Eh ilang kilo Hertz ba iyan?) w/ MYMP again, love moves in mysteriuos ways w/ NINA ehehehe!!!!
About Me: im a person n siryoso pro happy ksm en i dont like sa mga pipol n plastik gus2 ko ung dldl ("Daldal" pala 'to. Akala ko naman kung ano...) pro my sen ce ung cnsabi en real... im sure n mag kksundo tyo!!! Practically (Baka "basically." ) i want pretty girls but honestly i like mostly girls who are nice to accompany (Escort service ba ang hanap niyo?) and not malandi ...waaaaah i hope i cud fyn special one !!! (Lord, ang sakit na talaga ng ulo ko.)
16) Anthony
Affiliations: hardcore serial killer/frustrated assassin, computer addict (Malamang "describe yourself" ang pagkakaintindi niya dito.)
Favorite Movie: Harry Potter all the movies that were already shown and including the one's that is still being made (Wow, advanced.)
Favorite Music: alternative, rock, mellow, pop, kahit ano basta hale o cueshe ( Aba , very seasoned ah.)
About Me: im just a person who sit's silently on one corner (Yeah. And stay there.)
17) -pRettY cAng-
Favorite Music: ACOUSTIC...reggea (Huh?)
"me?? im just a si mple girl... hmmm... sometimes im othistic" (Ayuneeeee! Ops, wala akong sinabi...! It came straight right out of the proverbial horse's mouth!)
"loves 2 eat but still sexy and i carry myself very well with the way I look and the way i dress." (Why don't we just take her word for it?)
"when it comes to my character, i reflect myself as a conforming one because i have tested myself of doing things which anticipated to be done." (Tissue, please. Dumudugo ang ilong ko.)
18) SheZzO GraniTy
Hometown: AurOrA wEr CrimE iS OrGaniZeD (Ingat dito mga kapatid.) En ThA RuLe 2 FoLLoW (Is what...?)
Schools: sTa.cLarA wEr pLenTy oF mUrdErEr OccUrS (Tandaan ang paaralang ito-'wag ie-enroll ang mga bata dito.)
Affiliations: ThuG BaLLa bAbY oF kArEn rOsE
About Me: i CamE FrOm a SmaLL TowN wEr oL ThA GenGsTerS- kiLLahZ- DruG DeaLahZ- YounG bLoOdS- LiVin aLonE AnD biG TyM SinDiCaTe ArE OcCurS (Ito pala ang nuknukan... Ano ba'ng number sa police station?)
19) -lil LiZ-:
"rOcKeRz!! n pUnKz!!!! ASTIG!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" (Yeah. Sure.)
Affiliations: tEnNaGe LiFe!! (Double dead ito. Mali na, wrong spelling pa. Tsk.)
Favorite Movies: chukie 1 and 2 (Chukie? Malamang habulin ka talaga ng saksak ng manikang 'to dahil na-misspell mo yung pangalan niya.)
wants to meet "ANYONE. if ya want to know more just sen me a message!!" (Once again, no tenks.)
20) -'kEiXi'-
Hometown: nAVOetAst (In truth, NAVOTAS. Haaaay. Baketttttttttt? ????)
About Me: aqOuh?? (Hindi-ako daw...) .. cHimPle LAng.. bUT cAn maKE yUr hEAd tURn (Feel ko na nga mag-a la-Exorcist this far eh.) ,, *HoTcHiC**sEXy dAw..cHAvii nG mGAh fWEnDz qEw (Masyado kang nagpapaniwala. ...) .. sVi qEw nAMn.. mAdAnDa aqEw.. maArTE?/..sObra ** hiHi.. nDi mHEii mAarTE.. kAla nYOuh lAng yUn,, kSHi cHigURo .. yU fOUnd mE.. wEAriNg uNiqUe eAriNgs.. (So...?) USing mAkEuP.. oWeYs lOoKing mY fACe in tHE mirror.. mAarTE bAh yUN? (Hindi naman masyado)
who i want to meet: "xA aCcoUnt qEw..kHit cHiNU pwEde.. kHit ikA'y mUkhang
21) PrEtty StEpS IV
Affiliations: vOLLeYBaLL pLaYeR, cOLLeGe sTuDeNt, pARt tiMe MoDeL (iN MAHdReaMZ) (Huy, gising!), ChEEr DanCER & UR fRiEnDLiEsT nEiGhBoR iN ToWn......!! !! ( Aba , waynat?!)
"I wud nEver faLL again fOr soMeOne he's hEad oVer heeLs wiTh (So you're into girls...?) iN Comes To A rELATIONShIP I am faiTHfuL aNd sweet I haTes aNd curSes pLayErs (Playaz beware!) I am eMoTioNaL, I lisTens to My mind buT I stiLL foLLows My heart (Gollum? Is this you?) someone U Can tRUsT On
THANK YOU FOR PATRONIZING MY FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT LOVE YOU ALL (Uy, artista. Love lots ba?)
22) -sTaY ovErLoaD-
Hometown: TaGuiG..ThE FLazE To bEE..MaHoGanY (Yes naman!)
Occupation: boniFiEd (na-Boni? Ano?) and cErTiFied HeavEn ringEr..aLpha MaN.. (Meaning...? )
Affiliations: aFiLL-FuLL and ThuguFuLL..ThEY r grEaT jusT 4 onE nigHT buT iM grEaT evErY nigHT!! (Something tells me that... nah... 'wag na lang. Think what you want.)
23) Jean
Companies: Schools (Puwede naman...)
Affiliations: Cristianity (Yun na!)
Who I Want to Meet: "be always respect the universal trademark clan within the highest organization" (Oh. My Gadddd. This could be the motherest of them all grand statements, don't you think?)
24) adora
Companies: companies of CUTE PERSON (Yeah. What. Ever.)
Favorite Movies: thombraider (Thom the Braider daw? Ano?)
"ME...a simple GOD creature (Right... Of course you are.) , a high climber (Feeling unggoy.) & aggressive person, i want a new clothes, books..... ( Aba . At may wishlist pa!) some of my other descriptions are---->friendly, jealousy, cute, honest..." (Just what exactly was he trying to do here again?)
"i love spaghetty" (Aaah... ako, spaghetti ang gusto ko.)
Who I Want to Meet: A CUTE PERSON..and i hate a person who has a BAD IMAGE like being ignored, finishing second, hand-me-downs, waiting, LIAR, forgetfullnes, haste, feeling ignorant, vulgarity, ugliness, being pressured, LOUD ARGUMENTS & MAKING PROMISES.. (May kaunting kaguluhan.)
25) giriz
Affiliations: Bsta Nilalang sa EarTh pro luv c God (Oh... And what do we have here?)
"i like" play badminton." (Me don't like.)
"My true name: Giriz Romanos" (At an o naman yung fake?)
"I was born: in Earth!!!" (Are you sure? Is that your final answer?)
"I dont juge the book by its cover I read it first" (Aminin nating may punto siya... pero BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA pa rin!)
26) ooohweeeh gUl
Ms. "beat mah sexxy ass if u fwakin can" (I won't even fwakin try! Man!!! WHAT does this mean???)
About Me: "im juss a simple gul wit very naughty attitudes that guys might like and love" (Guys, totoo ba 'to?)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet different pips ho can carry dir self very and has strong personality" (Haaaaay.)
27) Bhabes
Affiliations: sana magkaroon ako ng boy friend n very gentleman, and caring person at igagalang k ng 22o. (Kami siguro, igagalang niya. Ikaw... sana rin.)
Favorite Books: ..."a dauther is a forever" (A what is forever??? Hala na...)
Favorite TV Shows: amanda show, spongebob disney, rush hour 2, parents trap, freacky Friday (Parang freacky freckles ang naisip ko dito...) basta ung nakakakilig na panoorin., ung mga tpong png lovers only.ung nkakakilig (Ay ewan ko sa'yo.)
28) Jha
Favorite Music: aLL e'M oF mUsIc As SoOn ThAt It's NoT iRrITaTe Me (YOU irritate me.)
About Me: !nSan3 Of NaTuRe: I liKe aLwAyS aN aDvEnTuRe & ThriLL iN mAh LiF3 i NeVer LoSt ThAt cOz, I'm The On3 who LoOk & FiNd FoR tHat B4 k!!! rYt nOw NOTHING!!! jUsT aN oRdInARy Mhe (But still insane of nature, quite obviously.)
Who I Want to Meet: who need to talk to someone. (Is this a question? Maybe YOU need to talk to someone-at sana magkaintindihan kayo.)
29) m E d Y FULL
Favorite Books: lovHisToRy Of My SeLf by: The one who es YOu!!!!! It's mE!! (Teka, nahulog ako sa upuan ko.)
About Me: "...i'm a simple person with a simple traits... dat's ol!" (Bow. I tenk you.)
Who I Want to Meet: "i want to meet ol of you, someone lyk you, whose fun to be with... of coarse... YOU"" (Ikaw-ikaw ang magaspang. Pareho kayo ni Contestant #8.)
30) Giselle
Hobbies: "im fun of texting ... im fun of dancin, sleeping, eating and singing and also fun of spending time with my frends" (Wow! What a FUN person you are! Ganito din ang fave books niya-"I'm fun of...")
"i want to make friends to all the pipol in the world!!! .... i want to meet pipol who is friendly and jam to be with!!" (Hayyyyy... Diyos na mahabagin!)
31) Gtonjethone
"Don't let my looks fool you! Im a EDUCATED FOOL w/ PARTIES, DISCO AND GAMES in my MIND!" (Uy! Gangsta's Paradise na combo meal! Sakto!)
"...Sometime i go further till 6 or 7am..." (Ano daw?)
"I want a long hair! (Isa lang ba talaga ang gusto mo?) So i can copy my sitmates answer w/out being seen by my teacher!" (Tsk, tsk. Principal's office na 'to.)
"I love ANEMI FANATICS like myself!" (Ang dapat sa'yo ay Hara Kiri.)
32) cOmWiZgiRL VII
"iM a siMpLe girL!prO mnSn rAkiZtA oUtfit aQ!" (Tsssssssss. Kayo ang nagpapababa ng kahulugan ng pagiging rocker.)
"Luk mtrAy at chUpLaDa dw cHAbi nG mGa kpitbhy nMin" (What's with the "ch-"? Geez.)
"d aQ mAartE!(pWerA LnG iF tiNO2pAk aQ!)" (At mukhang lagi kang tinotopak.)
wants to meet "ung mga nkanursing na uniform. (i duNnO y, maybE tHey nEat)" - (Yeah. Maybe.)
33) tEtHeN
Hobbies and Interests: cmPle Lng...bOys.. bOys...and bOys...bSta lOt oF boYs... (I leave it up to my discerning fellow readers to pass judgment on this one...)
Favorite Books: ..y U mAkE me fiL xo gAga Ba wiD yaH..!!!???! ! (Minumura na ba tayo?)
"dMIng KOng lAit sA mgA cHakA...wAhekS" (Hulaan mo kung kanino ako maraming lait... that's right!)
wants to meet someome "tO bE mY crYinG sHoulDer aNd mY stRenGht" (O, calling on all those na may crying shoulder...)
34) raceL
"its been a long time since i involved in a relationship" (I think I know why...) so pls hands off if ur just playing on me..." (Noli Me Tangere.) You can always here me sharing my opinions to others" (Here you? O baka there you? Ano ba?)
"During my past-time, i browse and browse internet..." (Adik ka!)
friends: "as long as we clicked each other's company...that' s fine with me" (Huh?)
"Some says I'm a masungit" (Ay. Dizz iz it, folks.)
35) kleeny (Hanep sa pangalan. Tamang-tama, sinisipon ako.)
Companies: Not Yet. (O 'wag daw muna! Atat ka eh.)
Favorite Books: All Books as long as there are sense about LOVE ( Sana ito ring sinabi mo na 'to may sense.)
"U will enjoy my company...I assure you 4 that" (Nako, girl! FOR THAT, featured ka dito!)
"I have a long curly Hair (Take note: isang kulot na buhok lang.) & my friends said that i have a cute Chinese eyes!!" (Naniningkit na ba kayo sa asar?)
"Want to Meet? Whoever, whatever as long as they are Good & Respected People (Politicians, perhaps?). I like a Persons who are Triple S stands for SIMPLE, SWEET & SINCERE..." (Tandaan sa darating na halalan!)
36) shanlee
Affiliations: socialization (Somebody-anybody, please start defining affiliations. Utang na loob.)
"easy to belong with specially to those people hu r nice too"
37) Maricar
Affiliations: cosmetics (This part has never ceased to amaze me.)
Hobbies and Interests: ...making friends globally (Hello, Ms Congeniality! )
"sometime I can't hide 'the child in me'." (Paki tago, please.)
"I firmly believe that 'The way to A Man's Heart is Through His Stomach' thats why i like winning my man by preparing him delicious and nutritious food." (Thank you, Dr Quack-Quack. )
Who I Want to Meet: I want him to be HIMSELF!!!!! (Sino daw? Buti 'di mo sinabing "I want to be HIMSELF!" Buti na lang talaga...)
38) jAcMuZiKaDiK- V
fave music: i DiG aLm0Zt oL KiNdZ gez m so versatile. (Uhh, yeah. Right.)
"im s0o0o0o0 REAL...thts foe meh!!" (Foe meeh, yoe not, dawg.)
"sounds COINCEITED but m not!!!" (May identity crisis ang COINCEITED na ito.)
"i dnt have d ASS( w/c most of d guyz dig n2)..." (Shet! Dig INTO?! Arayyyyyyyy! !!)
39) JeAn
"my friend call me roni for short bu! t to make it long call me roni-jean" (Pahabain pa ba natin ang usapan?)
she "can be please easily" & "know how to deal wth diff.type of person (even d tambay i can deal wth dem)" ( Aba , tignan niyo nga naman!)
"vulgar...i can say wt i wnt....even its not gud in ur ear..." (Now look what you've done! Kanina ilong lang... now my ears are bleeding too!!! Huhuhu!)
40) Collen May
"I am Ms. Personality and Ms. Congeniality (Ibig sabihin, hindi daw siya kagandahan.) daw with long black straight hair and morena. I am friendly in school (especially with the teachers- (Kailangan eh...ops! Hindi sipsip-friendship lang ito.) ) and even the alumni people!!! Kasi some of them are my neighbors."
"I love wearing and accesorizing clothes to make myself beautiful... :-) (Nag-work naman ba?) hello...joke lang po! They say i walk like a model or just pretending to walk like one but its the way i walk, really it's the truth and nothing but! (O ha?! O ha?!)"
41) Daryl
"me?? im ayl hndi mganda pro SEXY!hehehe. .! pangit pro MATALINO. Hndi kgandahan pro MABAIT..." (Ipinagdiinang pangit siya. What can I say?)
42) Aaron
"Ahhhhhhmmmmm! !!!! Just add me to your friend.... (Uhh... sige. Kanino mo gusto?) If you really wanna know about mee (No, I really don't.)!!!!!, but just an impression, im not gonna be what you expect" (Oh really? Try me.)
43) wilmar
"im a true freind that im willing to fight my friends (Panigurado, pala-away ang batang ito.) , sometimes she can be rude if you want to and she really hates plastic person (What did I miss? Who's "she?"). im prank very prank (You're a joke, that's for sure.) and if i hates i tell it to them para hinde nila masabi na im so beas." (Do you think he (or she-whatever) means "bias" here? Whatchuguystink? )
44) tThHaaALyN
Affiliations: meeting different ki nd of people...=> those people who I can easily asses myself with...=D (This is too much for my kokote.)
Hobbies and Interests: people who's fun to be with ! and interesting. .....have mood swings too...wen provoked!! im a different type of girl... not the one that u always encounter wid!! (Nadapa pa. Dinagdagan pa kasi ng "with" eh. Tsk, tsk.)
"want 2 mit?? well does people who's please to mit me 2!!!" (Sabog na ulo ko.)
45) Princess
Affiliations: im friendly and everything:) (Huhuhu... why, God???)
"im fund of music... ("Fund" naman ang drama nito, hindi na "fun" (see Contestant #30). Mukhang mayaman!) i want to... build a Europian school here in the Philippines " (Mayaman nga 'ata...)
Who I Want To Meet: "im open for all..." (Feeling Ministop.)
46) 'marlaX'
"mah hair s quite long a nd sleek wit a bang" (Medyo nahuli, pero happy new year pa rin!)
"i hv ds pierce on mah upper left ear" (On yawh uppah left eah ba? Tigazzzzz!)
"kaya pls lng wlang poporma at wag mgbalak manligaw dto!" (Hint, hint! Mag-reverse psychology ba?)
47) Jas
Motto: If there's a will, There's a will... (Haaay. Been there been that.)
Favorite Day: Everyday (Sa bagay, 7 lang naman ang araw sa isang lingo...)
J - jesus*
A - almighty*
S - savior*
* (What the...?!?!? Can't we just leave Jesus out of this? Geez...)
48) Arvie Jan
"ako ang nag-inspired kay Boy Abunda sa fassion." (Ows?)
"because relationship comes and go but friendship is forever!!! ininglish pa yun!!!" ( Aba . Proud pa siya.)
49) Joel
all of you are welcome in my friendster.. . even if you are a girl,boy,lesbian, gay,hunk, or naugthy...or either you are a bisexual or trisexual... (Wow. Lahat tanggap niya. Kamon let's join us!)
50) beware
"so kung feel mo akong maging friend, take the risk! face all the hardships and danger... hu knows? baka dun mo makita ang kasiyahan na hindi mo pa nadarama sa buhay mo.." (Hmm... do you think this is a threat?)
KONYO?! :P
KONYO
1. airheaded nouveau riche kids who come from a generation of linguistic mongrels and thus their lack of proficiency in both english and tagalog. they mix the two languages and think that "make + tagalog verb" (eg make kulit, make kain, make away, etc.) is an actual grammatical form. they love to brag about new gadgets and think that anyone who doesn't have a camera-phone must be really pathetic.
2. it's ignorant, baseless, and hurtful to brand ateneans collectively konyo. they can't help it if most of them (but not all) speak good english and you don't (ie not "braggy" whatever that means) . by the way, filipino classes at the university are notoriously tough but challenging. they equip the student with at least above-average skill in the native language. thus, they know better than konyo kids.
konyo kids who think flashy stuff are everything should spend an entire month at the convent to learn what frugality is.
2. Derived from the word coño - spanish slang word for pussy; one who mixes tagalog and english (tagalog) while talking - mostly rich filipino kids.
Guy: Hello miss, what is your pangalan?
Girl: Could ask someone na lang, coz I'm too busy kasi eh.
1. airheaded nouveau riche kids who come from a generation of linguistic mongrels and thus their lack of proficiency in both english and tagalog. they mix the two languages and think that "make + tagalog verb" (eg make kulit, make kain, make away, etc.) is an actual grammatical form. they love to brag about new gadgets and think that anyone who doesn't have a camera-phone must be really pathetic.
2. it's ignorant, baseless, and hurtful to brand ateneans collectively konyo. they can't help it if most of them (but not all) speak good english and you don't (ie not "braggy" whatever that means) . by the way, filipino classes at the university are notoriously tough but challenging. they equip the student with at least above-average skill in the native language. thus, they know better than konyo kids.
konyo kids who think flashy stuff are everything should spend an entire month at the convent to learn what frugality is.
2. Derived from the word coño - spanish slang word for pussy; one who mixes tagalog and english (tagalog) while talking - mostly rich filipino kids.
Guy: Hello miss, what is your pangalan?
Girl: Could ask someone na lang, coz I'm too busy kasi eh.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
TANGING BAKLA NATING LAHAT?!
"Kung alam ko lang na ganito ang mangyayari, sana naghanda ako ng mabuti. Handa ngdagdag pa ako ng blush on from Mary Kay. Diba? Binabati ko pala ang aking minamahal na papa. Miss na kita Tart. Mag ingat ka. Mahal kita sobra."
PS. Thanks Mama ko sa kagandahang ito. Mwah!
Monday, May 3, 2010
TATSULOK: Tatlong sulok ng Pag ibig
Kabanata IX
Ang natatanging PAGBABAGO.
Asawa ng Narator: Dahil sa nagbabagong panahon. At dahil sa global warming, soil erosion, melting of the ice caps, polar shift at ang pinaka inaabangan na Mayan Prophecy sa 2012 ay napilitang makipaghiwalay si GIRL kay Guy. Speaking of Girl. Nais kong ipaalam sa inyo kung paano siya nabuhay. Bakit? Wala lang. Sayang naman tong kabanatang ito e. Diba?
MAMA MUTZ: ( Manganganak na...) ARAAAAY! LUIS. LUIS. Dalhin mo ako sa garden natin. Dun ko gusto manganak. Para one with nature.
LUIS: ( pang walong asawa ng nanay ni Girl) Wala tayong garden *GOYA ko. ( *Goya ang term of endearment nilang dalawa ) Diba nga kabukas mo ng pinto eh High Way na?
MAMA MUTZ: Ayy oo nga pala. Dalhin mo ako sa Garden ng Kapitbahay. Yung may bastos na Angel na umiihi. Dun ako manganganak.
Apo ng Narator: Nag CR lang si Lola ko. Ako muna daw ang mag magsalita. So ayun na nga. Dun pinanganak si GIRL. At since sa Garden siya pinanganak. GARDENIA ang name niya. Kahit walang palaman. In english, even if theres no FLESH around?! Tama!
MAMA MUTZ: Anak. Pinapangako ko sa Angel na Umiihi nato na magiging sikat ka. Pag aagawan ka ng mga lalaki. At yan ang pagbabago na gusto ko mangyari sayo dahil dati... Oo pinag aagawan ako. Kaso mga babae umaagaw sakin. Mukha daw akong lalaki. Babaeng mukhang lalaki. Kaya anak. ikaw ang PAGBABAGO!
LUIS: Goya ko, tama ka. Ikaw anak ang magpapatuloy ng lahi natin. Lahi ng mararangal at matatapang.
Katulong ng Narator: Kumain lang si Sir. Ako muna daw mag take over. At biglang may dumaan na isang ipis. Gumapang sa paa ni Luis. At...
LUIS: WAAAAAAAGGG!!! AHHHHH! ALLERGY AKO. ALLERGY AKO!!!
MAMA MUTZ: GAGO! ALLERGIC!
LUIS: Ayy. Wait. ALLERGIC AKO SA IPISSSSS! WAHHHHHHHH! Uhhh!
Katulong ng Narator: Tama ang hinala mo. Hindi siya ginahasa ng ipis wag kang epal. Allergic siya sa ipis ayun. Namatay siya. At mula noon si MAMA MUTZ at Gardenia ( Kahit Walang Palaman! ) ang nabuhay ng masaya. Ano kaya ang susunod na mangyayari? Ano ang... iluluto ko na almusal bukas? Any suggestion?! Abangan...
ITUTULOY...
Ang natatanging PAGBABAGO.
Asawa ng Narator: Dahil sa nagbabagong panahon. At dahil sa global warming, soil erosion, melting of the ice caps, polar shift at ang pinaka inaabangan na Mayan Prophecy sa 2012 ay napilitang makipaghiwalay si GIRL kay Guy. Speaking of Girl. Nais kong ipaalam sa inyo kung paano siya nabuhay. Bakit? Wala lang. Sayang naman tong kabanatang ito e. Diba?
MAMA MUTZ: ( Manganganak na...) ARAAAAY! LUIS. LUIS. Dalhin mo ako sa garden natin. Dun ko gusto manganak. Para one with nature.
LUIS: ( pang walong asawa ng nanay ni Girl) Wala tayong garden *GOYA ko. ( *Goya ang term of endearment nilang dalawa ) Diba nga kabukas mo ng pinto eh High Way na?
MAMA MUTZ: Ayy oo nga pala. Dalhin mo ako sa Garden ng Kapitbahay. Yung may bastos na Angel na umiihi. Dun ako manganganak.
Apo ng Narator: Nag CR lang si Lola ko. Ako muna daw ang mag magsalita. So ayun na nga. Dun pinanganak si GIRL. At since sa Garden siya pinanganak. GARDENIA ang name niya. Kahit walang palaman. In english, even if theres no FLESH around?! Tama!
MAMA MUTZ: Anak. Pinapangako ko sa Angel na Umiihi nato na magiging sikat ka. Pag aagawan ka ng mga lalaki. At yan ang pagbabago na gusto ko mangyari sayo dahil dati... Oo pinag aagawan ako. Kaso mga babae umaagaw sakin. Mukha daw akong lalaki. Babaeng mukhang lalaki. Kaya anak. ikaw ang PAGBABAGO!
LUIS: Goya ko, tama ka. Ikaw anak ang magpapatuloy ng lahi natin. Lahi ng mararangal at matatapang.
Katulong ng Narator: Kumain lang si Sir. Ako muna daw mag take over. At biglang may dumaan na isang ipis. Gumapang sa paa ni Luis. At...
LUIS: WAAAAAAAGGG!!! AHHHHH! ALLERGY AKO. ALLERGY AKO!!!
MAMA MUTZ: GAGO! ALLERGIC!
LUIS: Ayy. Wait. ALLERGIC AKO SA IPISSSSS! WAHHHHHHHH! Uhhh!
Katulong ng Narator: Tama ang hinala mo. Hindi siya ginahasa ng ipis wag kang epal. Allergic siya sa ipis ayun. Namatay siya. At mula noon si MAMA MUTZ at Gardenia ( Kahit Walang Palaman! ) ang nabuhay ng masaya. Ano kaya ang susunod na mangyayari? Ano ang... iluluto ko na almusal bukas? Any suggestion?! Abangan...
ITUTULOY...
TATSULOK: Tatlong sulok ng Pag ibig.
KABANATA IX
Ang pumapagaspas na hiwalayan...
Apo ng Narator: Dahil sa di inaasahang hiwalayan ng mag kasintahan ay binabati ko ng maligayang kaarawan ang aming aso na si Bantay. Bantay happy birthday. Going back to the story. Nagpunta si Guy kay Girl para makipag usap.
GIRL: So, madalas ka pala sa Kabet mo huh?
GUY: Hindi. Minsan lang.
GIRL: Once, twice, thrice—gaano ba kadalas ang minsan?
GUY: 4 times lang. Sorry na. Di na ako manloloko.
GIRL: Tandaan mo. You can fool me once, you can fool me twice but you can never fool me THREE! Tandaan mo yan.
GUY: Wala namang masama na nakikipagkita ako sa kanya diba?
GIRL: Akala mo lang wala... pero meron! Meron! Meron!
GUY: Sorry na please. Sorry na. SORRY NA! ANAK NG TOKWA NAMAN OH!
GIRL: Simple lang naman ang hinihingi ko. Kung hindi mo ako marespeto bilang asawa, respetuhin mo naman ako bilang kaibigan. Kung hindi naman, respetuhin mo ako bilang tao.
GUY: I respect you more than I respect myself. I treat you as my wife.
GIRL: I was never your partner. I'm just your wife. kaya hindi mo ko nirerespeto! Go away. I dont need a parasite...
GUY: (duguan ang puso. labas mata. labas sipon. tulo laway. pati mucous membrane labas lahat..)
Apo ng Narator: Kawawa naman si Guy. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa kabanatang ito? Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa mga housemates sa bahay ni kuya? Magkakaroon ba ng malinis na eleksyon sa May 10, 2010? Sasabog na ba ang Mt. Apo? Mabubuhay ba ulit si Hitler? Abangan...
ITUTULOY...
Ang pumapagaspas na hiwalayan...
Apo ng Narator: Dahil sa di inaasahang hiwalayan ng mag kasintahan ay binabati ko ng maligayang kaarawan ang aming aso na si Bantay. Bantay happy birthday. Going back to the story. Nagpunta si Guy kay Girl para makipag usap.
GIRL: So, madalas ka pala sa Kabet mo huh?
GUY: Hindi. Minsan lang.
GIRL: Once, twice, thrice—gaano ba kadalas ang minsan?
GUY: 4 times lang. Sorry na. Di na ako manloloko.
GIRL: Tandaan mo. You can fool me once, you can fool me twice but you can never fool me THREE! Tandaan mo yan.
GUY: Wala namang masama na nakikipagkita ako sa kanya diba?
GIRL: Akala mo lang wala... pero meron! Meron! Meron!
GUY: Sorry na please. Sorry na. SORRY NA! ANAK NG TOKWA NAMAN OH!
GIRL: Simple lang naman ang hinihingi ko. Kung hindi mo ako marespeto bilang asawa, respetuhin mo naman ako bilang kaibigan. Kung hindi naman, respetuhin mo ako bilang tao.
GUY: I respect you more than I respect myself. I treat you as my wife.
GIRL: I was never your partner. I'm just your wife. kaya hindi mo ko nirerespeto! Go away. I dont need a parasite...
GUY: (duguan ang puso. labas mata. labas sipon. tulo laway. pati mucous membrane labas lahat..)
Apo ng Narator: Kawawa naman si Guy. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa kabanatang ito? Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa mga housemates sa bahay ni kuya? Magkakaroon ba ng malinis na eleksyon sa May 10, 2010? Sasabog na ba ang Mt. Apo? Mabubuhay ba ulit si Hitler? Abangan...
ITUTULOY...
TATSULOK: Tatlong sulok ng Pag ibig.
KABANATA VIII
MUDRA KNOWS BEST...
Kapatid ng Lolo ng Narator: Bago ko ituloy ang kwento... Binabati ko ang mga kamag anak ko diyan sa Pagudpod. And to all KFC subscribers... Eto na, dahil sa pagtatalong naganap kay GIRL at kay KABET... Umuwi si Kabet sa nanay niya. Si Matutina Luisita y Marcelo AKA MAMA MUTZ.
MAMA: Anak, oh napasugod ka?
KABET: Mah! I need your help. May ipapabarang ako.
MAMA: Anak, pasensya kana. Walang bisa ang barang ngayon. Martes. Dapat pumunta ka Biyernes o Lunes. Para long weekend.
KABET: Di ba pede... Isipin nalang natin biyernes ngayon? O lunes?
MAMA: Hindi anak. Sorry. Atsaka magkikita kami ngayon ni Brando. Mamasahiin ko sya.
KABET: Ma, Ang mga tala--mataas, mahirap maabot. Pero ipinapangako ko, Inay, bukas, luluhod ang mga tala!
MAMA: Anong connect nun kay Brando?!
KABET: Ma, broken hearted ako. Help me. Please.
MAMA: Anak, Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain. Dapat you learn how to close your door. Mahal na ang bayad sa kuryente anak, lalo pag 24/7.
KABET: Ma, Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako. Ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng mabaho, ayoko ng walang tubig, ayoko ng walang pagkain, ayoko ng putik!
MAMA: Anak, learn to move on. May kutsilyo ako dyan sa cabinet. Yan ang kutsilyo ni panday. Gamitin mo. At sumugod ka.
KABET: Salamat ma. Salamat. You're the best mother in the world. Mudra really knows best. Alam mo ma, sobrang thank you. Ano nalang gagawin ko kung wala diba?
(nakatingin sa langit sa may bintana...) Alam mo ma, mahal na mahal kita. Sobra. Sobrang mahal kita...
Kapatid ng Lolo ng Narator: Hindi nya alam... Wala na pala siyang kausap... Umalis na ang mama niya. Kasi nag tweet na si brando at nag BBM sa Blackberry 3G phone ng mama nya.
KABET: (labas mata. mukhang tanga...)
ITUTULOY...
MUDRA KNOWS BEST...
Kapatid ng Lolo ng Narator: Bago ko ituloy ang kwento... Binabati ko ang mga kamag anak ko diyan sa Pagudpod. And to all KFC subscribers... Eto na, dahil sa pagtatalong naganap kay GIRL at kay KABET... Umuwi si Kabet sa nanay niya. Si Matutina Luisita y Marcelo AKA MAMA MUTZ.
MAMA: Anak, oh napasugod ka?
KABET: Mah! I need your help. May ipapabarang ako.
MAMA: Anak, pasensya kana. Walang bisa ang barang ngayon. Martes. Dapat pumunta ka Biyernes o Lunes. Para long weekend.
KABET: Di ba pede... Isipin nalang natin biyernes ngayon? O lunes?
MAMA: Hindi anak. Sorry. Atsaka magkikita kami ngayon ni Brando. Mamasahiin ko sya.
KABET: Ma, Ang mga tala--mataas, mahirap maabot. Pero ipinapangako ko, Inay, bukas, luluhod ang mga tala!
MAMA: Anong connect nun kay Brando?!
KABET: Ma, broken hearted ako. Help me. Please.
MAMA: Anak, Para kang karinderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain. Dapat you learn how to close your door. Mahal na ang bayad sa kuryente anak, lalo pag 24/7.
KABET: Ma, Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako. Ayoko ng masikip, ayoko ng mabaho, ayoko ng walang tubig, ayoko ng walang pagkain, ayoko ng putik!
MAMA: Anak, learn to move on. May kutsilyo ako dyan sa cabinet. Yan ang kutsilyo ni panday. Gamitin mo. At sumugod ka.
KABET: Salamat ma. Salamat. You're the best mother in the world. Mudra really knows best. Alam mo ma, sobrang thank you. Ano nalang gagawin ko kung wala diba?
(nakatingin sa langit sa may bintana...) Alam mo ma, mahal na mahal kita. Sobra. Sobrang mahal kita...
Kapatid ng Lolo ng Narator: Hindi nya alam... Wala na pala siyang kausap... Umalis na ang mama niya. Kasi nag tweet na si brando at nag BBM sa Blackberry 3G phone ng mama nya.
KABET: (labas mata. mukhang tanga...)
ITUTULOY...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
TATSULOK: Tatlong sulok ng Pag ibig.
KABANATA VII
WHO R U PICKING?!
Lolo ng Narator: Sa di inaasahang panahon ay nagkasalubong sa isang eskinita si Girl at ang Kabet. At natigilan si Girl.
GIRL: Arraaayyy! Ay sosyal ako. Aroucchhh!
( Nakatapak pala ng TAE si girl. Bakit siya nag arayyy?! ay sosyal pala. aroouch?! )
KABET: Kawawa ka naman. Ano gusto mo makipagtuos sakin?
GIRL: Sabihin mo lang kung saan, kailan, at paanong labanan, magpasabi ka lang. Hindi kita uurungan!
KABET: You're nothing but a second-rate, trying hard copycat!
GIRL: Ikaw pala. Ikaw pala ang sinasabi ng asawa ko na asawa mo na asawa ng bayan!
KABET: Pinuno mo na ang salop, girl. Dapat ka nang kalusin.
GIRL: Mamamatay ako, Ate, pag kinuha mo sa akin si Guy!
KABET: Ipalilibing kita.
GIRL: Ate, please!
KABET: Nung inagaw mo sa 'kin si . . . muntik na rin akong mamatay. Puwes, ikaw naman ngayon ang mamatay.
GIRL: Wag kang makaarte-arte na 'kala mo kung sino ka dahil sampid ka lang dito!
KABET: Hindi ba pareho lang tayo dito? Pinulot lang sa lupa?
GIRL: AKO LEGAL WIFE!
KABET: AKO HOUSE WIFE?!
ITUTULOY....
WHO R U PICKING?!
Lolo ng Narator: Sa di inaasahang panahon ay nagkasalubong sa isang eskinita si Girl at ang Kabet. At natigilan si Girl.
GIRL: Arraaayyy! Ay sosyal ako. Aroucchhh!
( Nakatapak pala ng TAE si girl. Bakit siya nag arayyy?! ay sosyal pala. aroouch?! )
KABET: Kawawa ka naman. Ano gusto mo makipagtuos sakin?
GIRL: Sabihin mo lang kung saan, kailan, at paanong labanan, magpasabi ka lang. Hindi kita uurungan!
KABET: You're nothing but a second-rate, trying hard copycat!
GIRL: Ikaw pala. Ikaw pala ang sinasabi ng asawa ko na asawa mo na asawa ng bayan!
KABET: Pinuno mo na ang salop, girl. Dapat ka nang kalusin.
GIRL: Mamamatay ako, Ate, pag kinuha mo sa akin si Guy!
KABET: Ipalilibing kita.
GIRL: Ate, please!
KABET: Nung inagaw mo sa 'kin si . . . muntik na rin akong mamatay. Puwes, ikaw naman ngayon ang mamatay.
GIRL: Wag kang makaarte-arte na 'kala mo kung sino ka dahil sampid ka lang dito!
KABET: Hindi ba pareho lang tayo dito? Pinulot lang sa lupa?
GIRL: AKO LEGAL WIFE!
KABET: AKO HOUSE WIFE?!
ITUTULOY....
TATSULOK: Tatlong Sulok ng Pag-ibig.
KABANATA VI
ACRONYM MANIA!
Ninong ng Narator: Sa kasamaang palad abf inaanak ko ay nagka hepatitis ABCDEFG. Kaya ako muna ang magtatake over. Thank you to Dr. Vicki Belo pala for may skin care. At Dr. Manny and Pie Calayan and also Dr. Jose Rizal Thank you. Sa kabilang banda ng kwento. Nagkasalubong si Guy at Girl sa daan.
Guy: Hi Babe. Nakausap ko ang kapatid mo kagabi sa phone.
Girl: Wag kang mafeeling. Wala akong kapatid. Im the only children in the family that prays together, stays together.
Guy: Ahhh. Sino yung nakausap ko kagabi? Sabi nya pa, naliligo kadaw sa banyo nyo.
Girl: Pwede ba. Wag kang OA. Wala kaming banyo. Sa poso ako naliligo. At nag gegebs ako sa Ilog sa likod namin. At isa pa, wala kaming telephone. 4 months na kaming walang telephone. Pwede ba.
(Umalis si girl. Patakbo. Naiwan nya ang sapatos nya. Gladiator Shoe.)
Guy: Babe! BATANGAS!
B- abe!
A- ng
T- apatos mo
A- y
N- aiwan
G- aga
A- ng baho ng
S- hoe mo!
Girl: PARIS!
P- lease
A- lways
R- emain
I- nnocent
S- hut UP!
Guy: TURKMENISTAN!
T- art
U- u
R- r
M- y
E- verything
N- agbibigay
I- nspiration,
S- aya,
T- rouble at
A- liw
N- aman!
Girl: USC (University of San Carlos?!)
U- ber!
S- a
C- heezy!
Guy: MMK ( Maalala Mo Kaya?!)
M- ahal na
M- ahal
K- ita.
Girl: PBBTC ( Pinoy Big Brother Teen Clash?!)
P- wede
B- ee
B- aduy
T- song
C- hever ka!
Guy: .... ( umiiyak...) Please give me a chance... Please.
Girl: IRAN.
I- kaw
R- in
A- ng
N- awalan!
ITUTULOY....
ACRONYM MANIA!
Ninong ng Narator: Sa kasamaang palad abf inaanak ko ay nagka hepatitis ABCDEFG. Kaya ako muna ang magtatake over. Thank you to Dr. Vicki Belo pala for may skin care. At Dr. Manny and Pie Calayan and also Dr. Jose Rizal Thank you. Sa kabilang banda ng kwento. Nagkasalubong si Guy at Girl sa daan.
Guy: Hi Babe. Nakausap ko ang kapatid mo kagabi sa phone.
Girl: Wag kang mafeeling. Wala akong kapatid. Im the only children in the family that prays together, stays together.
Guy: Ahhh. Sino yung nakausap ko kagabi? Sabi nya pa, naliligo kadaw sa banyo nyo.
Girl: Pwede ba. Wag kang OA. Wala kaming banyo. Sa poso ako naliligo. At nag gegebs ako sa Ilog sa likod namin. At isa pa, wala kaming telephone. 4 months na kaming walang telephone. Pwede ba.
(Umalis si girl. Patakbo. Naiwan nya ang sapatos nya. Gladiator Shoe.)
Guy: Babe! BATANGAS!
B- abe!
A- ng
T- apatos mo
A- y
N- aiwan
G- aga
A- ng baho ng
S- hoe mo!
Girl: PARIS!
P- lease
A- lways
R- emain
I- nnocent
S- hut UP!
Guy: TURKMENISTAN!
T- art
U- u
R- r
M- y
E- verything
N- agbibigay
I- nspiration,
S- aya,
T- rouble at
A- liw
N- aman!
Girl: USC (University of San Carlos?!)
U- ber!
S- a
C- heezy!
Guy: MMK ( Maalala Mo Kaya?!)
M- ahal na
M- ahal
K- ita.
Girl: PBBTC ( Pinoy Big Brother Teen Clash?!)
P- wede
B- ee
B- aduy
T- song
C- hever ka!
Guy: .... ( umiiyak...) Please give me a chance... Please.
Girl: IRAN.
I- kaw
R- in
A- ng
N- awalan!
ITUTULOY....
TATSULOK: Tatlong Sulok ng Pag-ibig.
Kabanata V
THE REVENGE OF THE SEAT?!
Narator: Alas dose na ng gabi. Wala ng katao-tao sa daan. As in wala. At si Kabet... Nagtitinda ng Balot. Wala na kasing pambayad sa kuryente. Kasi naman lima ang aircon. Tig iisa sa 3 kwarto nya at isa sa kwarto ng nanny niya. At isang aircon pa sa formal dining room niya. FORMAL dapat talaga. Ang arte. Buti nga sa kanyaaaahhhh!!!!! Waggg!!!!
( Pinatay ng kabet ang narator....)
Anak ng Narator: Ang ganda ganda ni Kabet... Itay, paalam sayo. Ikaw kasi. Till we mate again. Ay meet pala.
Kabet: Humanda yang babaeng mukhang butiking binudbud sa espasol with a dash of monosodium glutamate and papaya extract... Gaganti ako... BALOT!!! PENOY!!! BALOOOWWWT! PENOOOYY!!
Anak ng Narator: Tinawagan ni Kabet ang mga kasangga niya. Kaso wala ang mga Ravena. May exposure trip sa Amazon river. Pati ang mga alagad ni Bawana. Nagpicnic sa Iceland. Ayun. Mag isa siya. Biglang bumuhos ang malakas na hangin... Tinangay ang mga paninda niya... At bigla niyang kinuha ang Ugat-Pak ni Alwina... Kaso wala ng battery. Lowbat. Di gumana.
KABET: Di ka pa tapos huh?! Gusto mo dn mamatay?! Huh?! Mahal mo na ang buhay mo ?!
Anak ng Narator: ..........
KABET: Oh my?! What will I do?! I love him so much. Kelangan ko maghiganti. I need to make a revenge. Tatawagan ko si ninong Yuri. Para mag Revenge. Humanda siya...Humanda siya.... Wahahahahaahahah!!! AHhhhhhhhhh!
Anak ng Narator: Nabundol ng wheeler ang KABET. Buti nga sa kanya. Hahahahaha.
ITUTULOY...
THE REVENGE OF THE SEAT?!
Narator: Alas dose na ng gabi. Wala ng katao-tao sa daan. As in wala. At si Kabet... Nagtitinda ng Balot. Wala na kasing pambayad sa kuryente. Kasi naman lima ang aircon. Tig iisa sa 3 kwarto nya at isa sa kwarto ng nanny niya. At isang aircon pa sa formal dining room niya. FORMAL dapat talaga. Ang arte. Buti nga sa kanyaaaahhhh!!!!! Waggg!!!!
( Pinatay ng kabet ang narator....)
Anak ng Narator: Ang ganda ganda ni Kabet... Itay, paalam sayo. Ikaw kasi. Till we mate again. Ay meet pala.
Kabet: Humanda yang babaeng mukhang butiking binudbud sa espasol with a dash of monosodium glutamate and papaya extract... Gaganti ako... BALOT!!! PENOY!!! BALOOOWWWT! PENOOOYY!!
Anak ng Narator: Tinawagan ni Kabet ang mga kasangga niya. Kaso wala ang mga Ravena. May exposure trip sa Amazon river. Pati ang mga alagad ni Bawana. Nagpicnic sa Iceland. Ayun. Mag isa siya. Biglang bumuhos ang malakas na hangin... Tinangay ang mga paninda niya... At bigla niyang kinuha ang Ugat-Pak ni Alwina... Kaso wala ng battery. Lowbat. Di gumana.
KABET: Di ka pa tapos huh?! Gusto mo dn mamatay?! Huh?! Mahal mo na ang buhay mo ?!
Anak ng Narator: ..........
KABET: Oh my?! What will I do?! I love him so much. Kelangan ko maghiganti. I need to make a revenge. Tatawagan ko si ninong Yuri. Para mag Revenge. Humanda siya...Humanda siya.... Wahahahahaahahah!!! AHhhhhhhhhh!
Anak ng Narator: Nabundol ng wheeler ang KABET. Buti nga sa kanya. Hahahahaha.
ITUTULOY...
TATSULOK: Tatlong Sulok ng Pag-ibig.
Kabanata IVAng Pagtutuos…
Narrator: Sa isang madilim na gubat. May mga nilalang na naninirahan. Madidilim na nilalang. At ang tanging makikita mo lang ang mapupula nilang mata. Gutom. Mabangis. Naglalaway… Pero walang kinalaman sa kabanata yan. Chena lang yan!
…Sa pagbabalik natin sa kwento, nalaman na ni girl ang panloloko ni guy. At hindi niya matanggap yun dahil.. ( biglang may nagsalita)
Girl: hoy! leche kang narator ka! sobra na ang exposure mo. Umalis kana diyan!
Narrator: Ok naman! Sorry naman te!
Girl: Walang anuman. (out na si narator… luhaang umalis habang hinihila ang lata na puno ng fruit cocktail..)
Girl: Bakit niya ako niloko? Bakit?! ( sabay subo sa banana que na binili niya sa Roxas Boulevard..)
Others: Ikaw kasi nagmamaganda ka! ( sabay kagat sa tuna sandwich with balsamic vinegar tosed with blackberry juice and lemon and lime dressing..)
Girl: Sino yan? Sino ka?
Others: Ang konsensiya mo!
Girl: Eh wala naman akong kinamot na buni ko sa legs at sa dalawang braso ko ah.
Others: Pwede bee!? Jollibee! May CCTV akong kinabit sa katawan mo. Halatang-obvious na nagsisinungaling ka! Over ka ah!
Girl: …
Others: Oh ano?! Di ka makapagsalita ngayon huh? Ano?! Basagan nalang ng bote?! Huh? Akala ko ba siga ka?!
Girl: …
Others: Magsalita ka! Magsalita ka!
Girl: (sinipa ang konsensiya!!!) Paano ako magsasalita eh nilagay mo ang kamao mo sa bunganga ko! Sira! …
(Kumaripas ng takbo ang babae…. kahit naiwan niya ang kanyang underwear na kulay tangerine kay Konsensiya…)
Others: Pano nato? Pano ko pa siya makikita eh naiwan niya ang panty niya.. Dito ko pamo kinabit ang CCTV!
(.. bumalik si girl…)
Girl: Walang hiya ka! Akin na yang panty ko. Antique to! Ang kapal mo!
(tumakbo ulit si girl. bitbit ang “antique” niya na panty na kulay tangerine na binili niya sa SO-EN supermarket… at si Konsensiya… nevermind!..)
ITUTULOY...
Narrator: Sa isang madilim na gubat. May mga nilalang na naninirahan. Madidilim na nilalang. At ang tanging makikita mo lang ang mapupula nilang mata. Gutom. Mabangis. Naglalaway… Pero walang kinalaman sa kabanata yan. Chena lang yan!
…Sa pagbabalik natin sa kwento, nalaman na ni girl ang panloloko ni guy. At hindi niya matanggap yun dahil.. ( biglang may nagsalita)
Girl: hoy! leche kang narator ka! sobra na ang exposure mo. Umalis kana diyan!
Narrator: Ok naman! Sorry naman te!
Girl: Walang anuman. (out na si narator… luhaang umalis habang hinihila ang lata na puno ng fruit cocktail..)
Girl: Bakit niya ako niloko? Bakit?! ( sabay subo sa banana que na binili niya sa Roxas Boulevard..)
Others: Ikaw kasi nagmamaganda ka! ( sabay kagat sa tuna sandwich with balsamic vinegar tosed with blackberry juice and lemon and lime dressing..)
Girl: Sino yan? Sino ka?
Others: Ang konsensiya mo!
Girl: Eh wala naman akong kinamot na buni ko sa legs at sa dalawang braso ko ah.
Others: Pwede bee!? Jollibee! May CCTV akong kinabit sa katawan mo. Halatang-obvious na nagsisinungaling ka! Over ka ah!
Girl: …
Others: Oh ano?! Di ka makapagsalita ngayon huh? Ano?! Basagan nalang ng bote?! Huh? Akala ko ba siga ka?!
Girl: …
Others: Magsalita ka! Magsalita ka!
Girl: (sinipa ang konsensiya!!!) Paano ako magsasalita eh nilagay mo ang kamao mo sa bunganga ko! Sira! …
(Kumaripas ng takbo ang babae…. kahit naiwan niya ang kanyang underwear na kulay tangerine kay Konsensiya…)
Others: Pano nato? Pano ko pa siya makikita eh naiwan niya ang panty niya.. Dito ko pamo kinabit ang CCTV!
(.. bumalik si girl…)
Girl: Walang hiya ka! Akin na yang panty ko. Antique to! Ang kapal mo!
(tumakbo ulit si girl. bitbit ang “antique” niya na panty na kulay tangerine na binili niya sa SO-EN supermarket… at si Konsensiya… nevermind!..)
ITUTULOY...
TATSULOK: Tatlong Sulok ng Pag-ibig.
Kabanata 3The return of the comeback…
Kinabukasan. Mga 5 am ng umaga. Pumunta si Guy sa bahay ni Girl. May dalang 5 dosena ng Bulaklak. Kulay Fuschia. Santan. At twenty pesos na pandesal. WALANG DAIRYCREAM!
Guy: Babe! Lumabas ka diyan! Lumabas ka! Mahal na mahal kita!
Andito ako sa garden niyo!
Girl: Ungas! Wala kaming garden. Pag bukas mo ng pinto high way na!
Guy: Ay! Garden ng kapitbahay niyo! Andito ako!
Girl: Wala siya dito. Bumalik ka nalang bukas. May iniwan siyang sulat sa pinto. Kunin mo nalang…
Guy: ( kinuha ang sulat… ) Wala namang sulat dito eh.
Girl: Hahaha. Joke lang! Umalis kana. Bumalik ka during business days… Saturday ngayon.
Umalis nalang si Guy… Duguan ang puso at damdamin. Binigay ang mga dalang bulaklak sa mga babae sa daan. Umulan. Binigay ang tinapay sa mga bata… Umulan ng malakas. Naabutan na ng gabi… Umuulan padin. At may biglang dumating…
Babaeng Salawahan: Araaaay!
Guy: Ay sorry!
BS: Mag ingat ka nga! Dimo ba alam PRADA yang sapatos ko. PRADA yan. PRADA!
Guy: Huh? Ano yun?
BS: PRADAK of China!
Guy: … tumakbo ng matulin…
BS: Hoy! ung sapatos ko…
ITUTULOY....
Kinabukasan. Mga 5 am ng umaga. Pumunta si Guy sa bahay ni Girl. May dalang 5 dosena ng Bulaklak. Kulay Fuschia. Santan. At twenty pesos na pandesal. WALANG DAIRYCREAM!
Guy: Babe! Lumabas ka diyan! Lumabas ka! Mahal na mahal kita!
Andito ako sa garden niyo!
Girl: Ungas! Wala kaming garden. Pag bukas mo ng pinto high way na!
Guy: Ay! Garden ng kapitbahay niyo! Andito ako!
Girl: Wala siya dito. Bumalik ka nalang bukas. May iniwan siyang sulat sa pinto. Kunin mo nalang…
Guy: ( kinuha ang sulat… ) Wala namang sulat dito eh.
Girl: Hahaha. Joke lang! Umalis kana. Bumalik ka during business days… Saturday ngayon.
Umalis nalang si Guy… Duguan ang puso at damdamin. Binigay ang mga dalang bulaklak sa mga babae sa daan. Umulan. Binigay ang tinapay sa mga bata… Umulan ng malakas. Naabutan na ng gabi… Umuulan padin. At may biglang dumating…
Babaeng Salawahan: Araaaay!
Guy: Ay sorry!
BS: Mag ingat ka nga! Dimo ba alam PRADA yang sapatos ko. PRADA yan. PRADA!
Guy: Huh? Ano yun?
BS: PRADAK of China!
Guy: … tumakbo ng matulin…
BS: Hoy! ung sapatos ko…
ITUTULOY....
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